I’m at my desk, reviewing figures of the mortal harvest above. Recent droughts are affecting what they will have in storage, and I’m less than thrilled. Someone is intervening, screwing with my work, and I'm mad about it. Everything about my desk and my office feels too harsh, too bright.
"Peony for your thoughts?" I lift my eyes to see Galen standing before my desk, a perfect red peony in his hand. He offers the flower to me, and I take it and inhale the scent. He pinches the pants of his light grey suit and perches on the edge of my desk.
“Nothing that can’t be solved tomorrow. I think one of your brothers is playing with the mortal realm.”
“Which one?” Concern causes a wrinkle between his brows. It’s the spot I’ve always reached for, as if I can smooth away his worries when it’s there. I know it won’t stop him from thinking too hard, but I can try.
“Does it matter?” I step out from behind my desk and walk into his waiting arms. His face is buried in the nape of my neck, dragging his nose from shoulder to my ear, which he tugs at gently.
“You smell of lavender. Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want me to intercede?”
I pull back and look at him. I know he means well, but I scowl. “I don’t need you fighting my battles.”
“What battles would you like me to fight then, wife?”
I step farther from his grip, making sure I’m out of his reach when I beckon my office door to open. Galen’s brow furrows again, and I give him a wicked grin.
“Catch me and find out,” I whisper, before I take off running through the halls of our new home to our bedroom, where we will have a different sort of encounter.
I tell Cat about my dream. I try to hold on to that calm, comforting feeling that I had moments ago when I consider what today is going to bring. The memory of last night in the Underworld, hearing about the crimes committed, makes my skin crawl. It’s one thing to know about the evils of man from afar, but to be faced with it so directly…I really get what Essos means about needing the right person by his side.
Not every case he had last night was simple. There were some, like the boy who accidentally started a forest fire that claimed eight lives, including his own, that had nuance. The urge to run from my chair and hug the boy and promise that it was okay was overwhelming, and Essos must have known it because, at that moment, it felt like I was bound to the chair. I found myself in agreement almost entirely with Essos on how he ruled, though there were a few people who I don’t think faced enough punishment.
“So, you’re still caught in a tug of war between them?” Cat’s tone is light, but the look on her face tells me she doesn’t approve. I realize that I haven’t filled her in on what I learned from Galen the day before about the life we apparently shared. I tell her about Essos coming between us and trying to keep me away from Galen. The look on her face tells me she’s not drinking the same Kool-Aid that I am.
“That just doesn’t feel like Essos.” Cat shakes her head. “If he had this master plan, then why would he let me stay?”
I gesture at her, my arms waving aggressively. “For this exact reason! You’re on his side, pleading his case.”
She looks offended and a little hurt at the suggestion. “I am on your side, and your side alone. I’m only stating that Essos has been good to us for the last month and a half, and you’ve known Galen for a grand total of…” Cat pretends to check her watch “…fifteen minutes. That’s hardly enough time to base anything on.”
“But we’re supposed to know if we want to spend eternity with Essos in three months? That’s a second compared to forever. I can’t give you a good reason, but I have this strong compulsion to trust Galen. If these memories are real, I had a life with him—he was my husband—and maybe that’s not who I am now, but I owe it to him and to that past self to figure it out, right? My feelings are so forceful when I’m around him, like there’s nothing but the two of us.” I throw the covers off the bed, startling Dave. He lifts his head and huffs at me in annoyance. I walk into the bathroom to wash my face.
“I’m not saying that either situation is ideal; I’m just saying that you need to slow your roll. There’s still plenty of time left until the ball, and we don’t want to rush it. Take your time to figure out what’s going on before jumping in with both feet. You and Essos looked sweet together last night. You should really ask Galen about those dreams you had about Essos. Maybe the simpler explanation is that you actually dated both brothers.” Her words resonate with me, hitting every doubt that I have. My head starts pounding as I try to focus on the memories of Galen, trying to see if I can look past them. Are the dreams memories too? They feel real, as if I might be accessing something locked away deep inside me. I remember the dream after my nosebleed last night, of sitting on the boat with Essos—was that a memory? Was it Essos…or Galen? I try to focus on it, to see if I can call the memory to mind by force. There is something strange about the memories that I just can’t put my finger on.
I grip the counter in the bathroom, my vision blurring. Holding on tight, I try to reach for the door to close it.I don’t use enough force to close it all the way, but I don’t care. I omitted the details about passing out, and I don’t want Cat to worry. I feel hot all over, and like I’m going to be sick. I manage to get my sweatshirt off and toss it to the side, but that took so much more energy than I expected. Even the smooth silk of my sleepshirt feels like too much.
“I’m going to shower!” I try to shout to Cat. Using all the strength I have, I stumble into the stall and turn on the water. I sit on the basin floor with my head between my knees, still fully clothed, and let cold water run over my body, wanting nothing more than to lie down and sleep again. I open my eyes and see pink water circling the drain. I look up, squinting against the water to see if there’s something wrong, and when nothing is, I gently touch my face. It’s wet, which my brain explains to me makes sense because I’m in the shower, but when I pull my fingers away, it doesn’t have a reason for why I’m bleeding.
Cat opens the door to find the shower curtain pushed wide open from when I climbed in. Noting the blood on my face, she frowns and springs into action. Always cool under pressure, she grabs a washcloth and holds it against my face, tilting my head back. I hear Dave whine behind her, his tail smacking the doorframe.
“I’m going to get help,” she says, holding my head steady when I don’t stop bleeding. “Do you think you can keep it together long enough for me to do that?”
Dave barks, and I nod my head. He barks a second time, and Sybil appears.
“I tried knocking, but you didn’t answer. What in the world…?” Sybil squats down to get a better look at my face. Dave keeps barking, getting louder and louder, until he suddenly stops.
“What is happening?” a male voice says from the doorway, the sharp edge of unease breaking through my mental haze. I know that voice. Essos moves into my line of vision, and I sigh. There is a wrinkle between his brows again that looks so familiar, and once more I have to quell my urge to reach out and smooth it away. It’s the same wrinkle from Galen’s face in my dream. It must be a family trait, but I can’t dwell any further on what it means. I just want everyone to be quiet. My mouth tries to move to shush everyone, but I don’t think I make a sound.
Essos’s face is otherwise blank, like he’s fighting not to show just how worried he is. I could feel his frustration yesterday when he was shouting about it. Nothing about Essos screams loss of control the way it did then.
“Why is everyone shouting?” I mumble, loosening my grip on the washcloth. I’m so very tired and just want to close my eyes for a minute, then I’ll pay attention. I’m not sure anyone actually heard me.
“Another nosebleed?” he asks, kneeling beside Sybil.
They lean forward to whisper in his ear, and he gives a small shake of his head, barely perceptible. Cat is still in the bathroom. She pulls the washcloth away, and it looks soaked in blood. I sense that she’s trying to look supportive and not frightened out of her mind as she gets another.
“What do you mean, another nosebleed?” Cat and Galen say at the same time. Her head jerks around when she hears his voice. I know her, and I’m sure she’s glaring daggers at him. I lean my head back, trying to lie down on the floor of the shower and close my eyes. I want to remind someone that the water is still on, but I can’t get the words out.