“What about Sybil? Wait, you have other employees?” I ask. I wonder if they want this role at all. But knowing what they do, I have to doubt Galen now. Taking this on requires a special kind of person, and I’m not sure it’s something that even I want.
“Of course, I do. Like any other business, the Underworld requires accountants and assistants and managers. Roles like this are filled with lesser gods, nymphs, dryads and other creatures. I can’t get into details yet, but Sybil is just the tip of the iceberg. A very important iceberg. Sybil is tremendously helpful, but like I said, it’s not the same. They can’t adjudicate with me or know how it feels to send people to a terrible afterlife. Sure, Sybil can handle the paperwork, but when it comes to handling the souls, that burden rests on the king and queen.” He stares at the horizon. “I have to carry this with me, knowing that some of these cases are not cut-and-dried. Knowing that there are people suffering for my judgment. I’ve been making these decisions for a long time, but when I had someone to share that with, it meant that I wasn’t alone in how I hurt for these people and those impacted by their choices.”
I take his hand in mine, sliding my fingers between his. I don’t miss that he had someone once whom he shared the burden with, and I wonder who she was and why she is no longer in the picture. I don’t press him on it, knowing he can’t give an answer. Instead, I’m grateful for the glimpse he has given me. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
Essos looks like he has so much more to say but won’t…or can’t. I want him to be able to open up, to let me in. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fully trust him while he keeps this wall between us. Even if it’s not a wall of his own making, it is a wall that prevents me from really reaching him.
But now, seeing what his job entails, seeing him in action, I do understand him a little better. Why he needs someone in his life, why it has taken him so many tries to find the right person. Is that why he so doggedly pursued his brother’s wife? Because he felt that I—or rather, she—was the only person who could help him handle all of this? Is that why whenever anyone asks if there was someone before, the answer is always,It’s complicated?
“I’ve kept you out much later than I should have. You must be hungry.” We stand and step away from the water, both of us wet from sitting in the surf. I’m about to say as much when Essos waves a hand, drying our clothes.
“Neat trick.”
“It comes in handy.”
We head back inside and find everyone in the ballroom, mingling. It’s clear that we missed dinner and the ball is well underway. Zara tries to hide her jealousy behind a smile as she crosses the room to us. Not caring that I’m right there, she gets on her toes and kisses Essos on the lips. He’s stock-still a moment before his hands gently hold her away from him as he pulls back. Essos slides his hand into mine, making it clear to Zara that now is still my time. He makes excuses and apologies to everyone else about needing to get food. He doesn’t let go of my hand as he leads me toward the dining room.
Cat and Finn are chatting with champagne glasses in their hands. They look smug as we walk past them. I watch as they clink glasses, not taking their eyes off us, their conversation continuing without missing a beat. They’re cute standing side by side, and I wonder if, since Cat is allowed to stay without actually dating Essos… If she can… Maybe she can start fishing in this wider, very good-looking pond.
I catch Galen’s eye as I pass. His head dips toward me, his golden eyes catching my hand in Essos’s. I could swear his eyes flash red. A fleeting thought enters my mind about what must be going through Galen’s head. I decide that I don’t really give a shit. He has far more information than I do about what’s going on, so if I have to keep some secrets too, I will.
We wind our way into the kitchen, where a stout redheaded woman is commanding a roomful of people as they run around making food. One of the younger servants comes to a dead stop and drops a platter.
“Well, now you’ve gone and done it! Dropped the canape! What am I supposed to feed these people now? Do you know how much Finn puts away alone?! Get this cleaned up. What will the king say when he sees this!”
“I imagine he will say ‘sorry,’” Essos responds, fighting a smile.
The cook looks up at him. She turns a furious shade of red to match her hair. “Now you’vereallydone it!” she says.“Embarrassed me before the king! What have you got to say for yourself?”
The boy is frozen in his spot.I assume that he doesn’t interact with Essos on a daily basis.
I pick up the food and place it on the tray, which gets her started all over again. I hope that I’m not making things worse for him.
“Please, Estelle, it’s okay. I startled him. It was my fault.” Essos gets on his knees beside me to help clean up. Essos helping out finally spurs the young man to action, and he grabs a napkin to wipe the floor and cover the soiled food. We finish clearing the mess, and the cook looks as though she might drop dead on the spot.
“Daphne and I were hungry, and we hoped that might be something that you could help us out with.”
Estelle claps her hands, turning away from us and barking orders as she goes.
Another young man leads us to a table in the corner. Eager to impress the boss, he sets out a tablecloth as well as candlesticks, then adds plates and silverware. I bite down on my lips to bury a smile over how everyone is tripping over themselves for Essos.
“I keep waiting for a fat Italian man to start playing the accordion behind us,”I tease as we settle in.
“Shall I use my nose to pass the meatball to you?”
My retort about him promising to kiss me as we share spaghetti dies on my lips. If Galen touching me can show our love affair, what would kissing Essos show me?
Would I see his plans to steal me away from Galen? Is that why he won’t do it?
Essos drags me back to the present by trailing a finger over the back of my hand. “How’s your head?” He’s watching me closely.
I wonder if he can read minds, but I dismiss the thought. If he could read minds, then he would already know what Galen has shown me.
“Much better, but I feel like the headache is still lurking.”
“Please tell me if you get any more nosebleeds or headaches. I want to make sure we monitor that in case it has anything to do with whatever attacked you a few weeks ago.”
I lean away from him, astonished. “That feels like a lifetime ago.” I can’t see how my current health issues would have anything to do with the sea monster. If I were a betting woman, I would say they’re due to the memories Galen has shown me.