“Is that what he said?”
“Not in so many words?”
Charlie grimaced. “Can I be honest?”
“Please.”
“Don’t wait around for someone to decide if they love you or not. Live your life, Jazzy. Right now. Plan for your future. Don’t build castles in the sky.”
“So, I should just accept that we were each other’s rebound and that’s all we were ever meant to be?”
“Just stopgaps on the way to emotional healing.” Charlie nodded.
“I care about him and respect him. I love him with all my heart, even if I can’t be with him. Even if he doesn’t love me back.”
And shedidlove him. Three weeks be damned. Her feelings weren’t bound by time and space. Would the feelings fade? Maybe. But they could grow too. No one could predict the future. What was wrong with just loving in the moment?
Why couldn’t she and Roan just havenow?
She knew the answer.
Trinity.
He couldn’t be rash or foolish. He was a single dad. His daughter had to come first.
“Love him, sure,” Charlie said. “But don’t attach any outcome to that feeling. Don’t let it stop you from moving on.”
“Should I take the Traveling Nurses job?”
“Do what you want. Stay. Go. Just stop twisting yourself into knots over things you can’t control.”
“Play’s about to begin.” Jazzy nodded to the crowd coming toward them. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
Christmas Eve at her dad and Sarah’s house was lively. Members of the True Love Cookie Club, of which her stepmother was a member, were therefor a cookie swap. Cookies of every variety—except for chocolate chip, they weren’t allowed in cookie club—lined numerous cookie tins. Sarah’s ubiquitous kismet cookie featured prominently. Guests came and went. They exchanged gifts and holiday cheer, played games, and reminisced about Christmases past. The holiday with her family was wonderful as always. Jazzy wasn’t fully present for the event. Her mind hung on Roan and Trinity.
By ten everyone but family had gone, including Charlie.
She sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the coffee table in the cocktail dress she’d worn to the play, watching her younger siblings decorate the live tree. Decorating a live tree on Christmas Eve that Dad cut down himself had become a tradition in the house once Jazzy’s asthma issues had resolved. Dad sat on the hearth so he could lean over and feed an oak log into the fire whenever it burned low. He’d done the same thing every year since he and Sarah married. Keeping the home fires burning while everyone else decorated the tree.
“Off to bed,” Sarah said, shooing her kids down the hallway once the decorating was done. “Or Santa won’t come.”
Jazzy waved goodnight to her siblings and pried herself off the floor to hug her dad and stepmom goodbye.
“Why don’t you just spend the night?” Sarah invited. “You’ll be right back here in the morning.”
“Sabrina hates it when I leave her alone too long,” Jazzy said.
“At least take some cookies with you.” Sarah thrust a tin of kismet cookies at her. “Maybe it’s time you slept with one of these under your pillow.”
“I don’t believe in the legend.”
“You don’t have to. Although, your father and Iareproof it works.” Sarah moved to wrap her arm around Dad’s waist.
“Anecdotal,” Jazzy said.
“Maybe,” Sarah said. “You’re missing that Jazzy sparkle. You look as if you could use some Christmas magic and these cookies come pretty close.”
“Thanks.” Jazzy tucked the tin under her arm. She had no intention of sleeping with a kismet cookie.