ALEXIUS
I’ve never been more convinced that I’m half human, half devil—or some sort of fucking unholy beast because…by God…Leandra has never looked more exquisite than she does right now. That red-hot rebellion that blazes in her eyes, the wild anger fused with a soul-deep misery caused by a war raging inside her as she fights her feelings for me—it’s fucking beautiful. The fiery passion. The blistering desire.
The spark of attraction surges between us no matter how fucked-up things are. It’s still there, and it’s stronger than ever. I know it. She knows it. It’s a ticking time bomb, and I can’t wait for it to explode.
The more she fights me, the more I want her. The more she denies me, the harder my dick gets. And the more she hates me, the more I want to bury myself so deep inside her she’ll never be able to forget how much she fucking wants me.
I cross my arms as I study her and drink her in, allowing myself to appreciate the sight. Her raven hair shines in the soft light trickling past the curtains, splashing over her delicate features with a golden glow. The tear stains on her cheeks highlight the contour of her face. It’s like her tears magnify her allure, and I can’t stop myself from reaching out and touching her cheek. She lets me. She doesn’t retreat or fight me, her skin soft and hot against my fingertips. My gaze drops to her belly, and the thought of a piece of me growing inside her drives me fucking wild with a possession that makes my dick throb. “God. I want you so damn much, stray. My body aches for you.”
“Alexius—”
“Have you touched yourself, thinking about me?”
“Stop.”
“I’ve been palming my dick every morning thinking about you, jerking off like a goddamn teenager in the shower. But instead of coming inside you, I have to watch my cum run down the drain.”
Her cheeks flush, and I acknowledge the small victory with a slight uptick at the corner of my lips, knowing how much she loves my filthy mouth.
“I know you’re angry with me. But you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about me once, thinking about what it feels like to have my cock slip inside you so easily because your body remembers me. Your body knows who it belongs to, and your pussy aches to be stretched while I fuck goddamn stars into that pretty little head of yours.”
“Jesus, Alexius.”
She tries to turn away, but I grab her chin and force her to look me in the eye. “Tell me you’re not aching for me, stray.”
She’s sucking her lower lip into her mouth as if afraid her words might escape. But she doesn’t have to say it. I can see it in the flush on her cheeks.
A tear laps onto my thumb, and I place it in my mouth, sucking it off and tasting her sadness. “Bittersweet,” I say and step closer, touching her chin with my thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look up at me. “You think it’s my deception causing your tears, but it’s not. It’s your love for me that makes your soul weep.” I lean down, watching as she shuts her eyes and lets out a pained whimper when I kiss her cheek, lapping up a tear with my lips. “To you, your tears mean sadness. To me…it’s hope.”
“I hate you,” she whispers, and I smile, pressing my mouth against her forehead.
“You don’t. Not even a little.”
“You have no idea how I feel. How much you fucking hurt me.”
“I do,” I whisper, dragging my lips down to her temple, breathing in deep and appreciating her sweet scent. “I know I hurt you. I lost your trust. But I won’t apologize for doing what I needed to ensure you never walk away from me.” I step up close, and her body shivers against mine. She makes no attempt to step back, and I snake an arm around her waist, gently placing my hand on the small of her back. “You cannot expect a man to regret the decisions he’s made when he made them out of love.”
“It’s not love. It’s control. That’s what you want, and you feel powerless without it.”
“That’s true.” I trace my lips down the shell of her ear, and I can almost hear her heartbeat quicken. “So imagine how it feels for a man like me when a woman makes the power and wealth acquired through generations seem insignificant.”
Her shoulders tremble, and she leans her head to the side, making me wonder if it’s an attempt to distance herself from me or an offering for me to take what I want.
She lets out a labored breath and moves her arms in between us, but the way she pushes against my chest is nothing but a halfhearted attempt. “You can justify your actions as much as you want. There is no reason in this entire goddamn world that can make what you did okay,” she whispers, and all I want to do is devour her mouth and swallow her words because they mean nothing compared to the desire that thickens around us with every passing second.
“Oh, but there is one reason,” I say, brushing my lips down the side of her neck, “and it’s the only reason I need to warrant every action I’ve taken, and every action I’ll take in the future to ensure you stay mine, and mine alone.”
She turns her face back toward me, denying me to taste her delicate skin any further. “And what is that?”
My eyes search hers, the air around us palpable with a passionate mix of hate, pain, longing, and an all-consuming lust. “Love,” I reply softly. “My love for you is all the reason I’ll ever need, stray.”
Her eyes start to glimmer with unshed tears as she takes a step back, my arm falling away from her waist. “You don’t know the meaning of love.”
“Just because my love doesn’t fit the mold of what you think love should be? I told you, Leandra, I warned you that my love would be a burden you’d have to carry for the rest of your life. Well, here it is.” I spread my arms wide. “The fucking burden of my love.”
“Deception. Lies. That’s the burden I have to carry for loving you?” She swipes at her wet cheeks, newfound defiance ignited in amber hues. “God, you’re a selfish asshole.”
“And you’re afraid of what we share.”