“No!” He storms up close to me, his irises a burning inferno, their intensity causing me to hold my breath. “That woman who has the courage to acknowledge her desires and take what she wants, demanding what she needs while on her fucking knees in front of me, that’s you. The real you.”
“You don’t know me.”
“The fuck I don’t. You’re scared because when you’re with me, you have the courage to acknowledge the side of you that you’ve spent years convincing yourself is wrong and distorted. You find your confidence in my arms, stray. With me, you’re free, and it scares the living shit out of you. And that’s why you’ve been trying to find ways to make me your villain, so you can blame me rather thanbeyou. The real Leandra Del Rossa.”
He cups my cheeks, gripping tightly, bringing his lips inches from mine, and I’m certain if he lets go, I’ll collapse. “You are mine, and I am yours. There is nothing that can change that. I don’t care if you villainize me for the rest of your goddamn life, I will not let you go.”
Tears lap down my cheeks and onto his fingers. “What you did,” I choke on a breath, “I’m not your toy, Alexius. My life isn’t yours to play with.”
“I did it because I didn’t want to lose you.”
“You had no right.”
“That’s not the way I see it.”
“Then you’re seeing it wrong,” I sob.
A growl tears from his throat as he jerks away, pulling a hand through his hair, his expression hard lines of frustration. “The way I see it, I’m a husband who loves his wife and is willing to do anything to keep her.”
“Even if it means breaking my heart?”
“Broken hearts mend.” His nostrils flare, his eyes a raging storm of chaos. “We can get past this.”
I shake my head, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth and tasting heartache in my tears. “No, Alexius. We can’t.”
“Don’t say that,” he snaps. “Don’t fucking say that.”
“It’s the truth.” I fall back against the cabinet as my legs grow numb, my eyes downcast as I clutch my belly, taking in one labored breath after the other, trying not to suffocate. “But it doesn’t matter.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying nothing matters. How I feel doesn’t matter because I already know how this will play out. I know you’ll never let me walk away with our babies.” I glance up at him. “You’ll make me choose. My freedom, or them. And I will choose them. I will always choose my babies. But I will never forgive you. Never.”
His eyes flash with hurt, and I can see the pain in their blue depths. It’s right there, mirroring my own, and cuts so damn deep I’m convinced I’ll bleed dry.
I sniff and wipe at my cheek, scoffing. “How is that for irony? You wanted me to stay, and now I am. Yet…you lost me anyway.”
Our gazes remain locked, the silence excruciating.
It’s the strangest thing. Even through the impossibility of forgiveness, there’s still this flicker inside me that’s determined to stay lit, fighting not to be smothered by Alexius’ betrayal. There’s a part of me still hoping that maybe…just maybe…
Maybe what? I’ll forgive him? We’ll go back to being Alexius and Leandra? Back to lovers unraveling within each other’s arms?
No.
Never.
That can never be again.
I swallow hard, trying to keep more tears from falling when he steps close, so damn close the pain in my chest intensifies threefold. This time he doesn’t reach for me, he doesn’t touch me, and I can’t be sure if my eyes are tearing up because I want him to.
His eyes cut from mine to my lips and back up again, and I see nothing but pure resolve stir within blue. “Your fight won’t outlast what we share, stray. What we have can burn cities to the fucking ground.”
“What we had is gone.”
“Liar,” he bites out. “Even now, you feel it. Beneath all that hurt, all that anger, you still feel it. It’s too fucking strong. And as God is my witness, Leandra, I will remind you just how strong it really is. Every. Goddamn. Day.” He drags his teeth across his bottom lip. “I swear it.”
ChapterFour