“It really could all be labeled trauma. Let’s be honest.”
“It’s tough.” He shrugged. “Not that I’m comparing. You were kids. It’s different.”
She looked thoughtful for a second, and then moved quickly to the next stack of boxes, twisting and turning them to check the labels. “I don’t know that it is. We might need different things from our parents at different ages. But let’s face it. We need them. Loss is loss.”
“That’s true.”
“I’ve lost both of my parents.”
“Hey. I managed to lose my dad before I ever found him.”
“Right. Well. I guess what can you do but laugh about that, too?”
“That’s fine with me. I don’t give a shit about my dad. He never wanted me. He didn’t take care of us. He doesn’t matter.”
He felt a fierce regret at the center of his chest.
If he had his dad, he wouldn’t be alone right now. So there was that.
“Victory,” she said. “I have ornaments. And a tree stand. Oh, and there’s a tree skirt. And rolls of Christmas lights. And some of this is probably from 2003. So...”
“Ancient,” he said, his tone dry.
“Super ancient,” she said, grinning.
He reached over to help her, and she grabbed the same spool of lights at the same time, and that brought her toward him, where she froze, only an inch of space between their faces.
“Damien...” she whispered.
“Let’s get this out of here,” he said, jerking away, and grabbing what looked to be the heaviest box, the tree stand and a spool of lights. He would figure out how the hell to get down the ladder with all of this in a minute.
He just opted to jump down. But he needed to get the hell out of that attic with her.
Otherwise, he was going to do something very stupid. Again.
CHAPTER FIVE
SHESTILLCOULDN’TBREATHE.They had been so close up there and...the attraction really burned between them. But it was even worse. The conversation. Feeling like she...understood him.
She had felt close to him before he left. Close enough that that wild summer night when they’d been the only two left at the bonfire that they’d been having in honor of them all being in one place, had seemed intimate.
And it had seemed...like it was theirs. Like there was no reason she shouldn’t try for the things she wanted most. The thing she had wanted most when she was fifteen years old and had noticed that his muscles might just be the most perfect creation on the earth.
Yeah. That.
And as if on cue, he walked through the front door just then, holding the tree up on his shoulder, his forearms shifting as he moved, and she couldn’t help but stare at the way his biceps curled, bold.
She’d touched all those muscles. But not enough to satisfy her. And she hadn’t known it was him.
Did you not, though?
Well. She hadn’t. And maybe there had been some thoughts of Damien. Maybe deep down she had known...something. But she hadn’t been able to openly, consciously enjoy his body.
And you still don’t get to.
Why not? The barrier to what happened two years ago was that he didn’t want Levi to be upset at him. And she’d been roaming around being hurt by him not wanting her all this time. But he had wanted her last night.
Maybe he didn’t want her now. Maybe now that he knew, it didn’t matter that he’d seen her naked and wanted her then.