The trek and destination were almost always empty. You’d run into a hiker or backpacker occasionally, but they were few and far between. The wind and the call of the birds were your only company.
It was exactly what I’d needed after last night. To feel the burn in my muscles and hear nothing but my breathing and nature around me. Calla had offered to make the climb with me, but I’d told her to stay with Toby and Jinx below. I wanted my solitude.
But with that came my mother’s words, taunting me. Not just the ones from last night but also from the last seventeen years—ever since Shiloh had gone missing.
That night had stolen my mischievous, adventurous mother, who used to take us at insane speeds on horseback or let us trek out alone to the creek on our property. Someone who needed to control every last detail of our lives had taken her place. And when I pushed back on that…it wasn’t pretty.
I searched for another handhold to make the final part of the climb. But as I did, I heard her voice louder.Irresponsible. Foolish. Cruel.
I shoved the echo from my mind and hooked my fingers around one rock, then placed my foot on another. She didn’t get that real estate in my mind. I pushed up, scrambling over to the flat outcropping. My chest heaved as I took in the view around me.
Land went on forever. Fields and forests. Streams and mountains. I was so small in comparison. Just a little speck in the vastness of it all. Somehow, that was comforting. My problems might seem big to me, but not when you looked at all this.
I sat down, leaning against the side of the cliff and letting my breaths even out as I took it all in. I’d never get tired of these landscapes. Despite the many places I’d traveled to in the world, this would always be home. I’d thought about moving a million times, but I could never pull the trigger because I couldn’t imagine leaving this behind.
The wind rippled a field of grasses below, almost making it look like water. And that same breeze lifted a scent of pine to my nose. It had a pang lighting along my sternum. There was only one person I wished was with me right now, and it was the one who would never come—not anymore.
I swore I could still feel Calder’s arms around me. Last night, as I’d tossed and turned, I could still smell hints of his familiar cologne. It was a beautiful kind of torture to have glimpses of the man who would never be mine—not in friendship or anything more.
I shoved those thoughts from my mind too and pushed to my feet. Peeking over the edge, I waved to my friends below. Toby gave me a salute in return, and Jinx sent his drone into the air. That was my cue that they were ready.
I surveyed the water below. The lake didn’t show any signs of the breeze affecting it. The surface looked like perfect sea glass. These waters were untainted by civilization, crystal-clear and almost turquoise.
Calla had swum out to do a depth check for me and make sure there weren’t any unexpected rocks. We were good to go.
I took a long, slow breath and stepped back from the edge. I twisted my shoes in the dirt and rock, getting a feel for the ground.
I didn’t give myself time to think, I simply started moving. In three strides, I was flying. My body tucked into one flip and then another before straightening out. There was nothing but me and the air around me. I was free.
My feet stung as they broke the surface of the water. The temperature stole my breath. I had to fight against my body’s urge to panic as I kicked towards the surface. When my head broke into the sunlight, I sucked in air.
Jinx hooted and hollered from the shore. I flipped to my back, floating and staring up at the sun. The water was so cold it hurt, but I didn’t care. It made me feel alive.
I let myself drift towards the shore, soaking in those tendrils of adrenaline and peace. But they were already fading. I reached deeper for them, trying to hold on, but I couldn’t quite grasp them.
I rolled to my stomach, my back teeth grinding together as I swam towards my friends. It wasn’t enough. Not after yesterday. But it was as good as I was going to get.
Calla held out a towel to me. “That was amazing.”
“Thanks.” I grabbed the terrycloth and wrapped it around my shoulders. “I can’t believe you didn’t complain about the water. It almost froze my brain.”
“It wasn’t too bad.”
I shook my head. “Not too bad? I’m a wimp compared to you.”
She smiled and ducked her head.
Toby wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side and giving me a little shake. “People are going to love it. They’re still losing their minds over the bike trick. This will just take it to the next level.”
Jinx set his drone back in its case. “Did you tell her about the sponsorship offer?”
“I totally forgot.”
“What offer?”
We all made a decent chunk of change from the sponsorships that came in for the videos.Voyeurdidn’t run ads on the streams, but companies asked people to use their gear or have their other products in the videos. I made more than a comfortable living from the money I earned from that alone, but I loved being an EMT and wouldn’t leave it behind for anything.
Toby released me but held onto my shoulders. “Brace yourself.”