“I can’t,” I said through clenched teeth. My gaze jumped around, looking for options. I caught sight of a small indentation in the rock face.
Metal screeched, and the vehicle dropped another two inches.
“Hadley!” Calder shouted.
“I’m okay.” But I wouldn’t be for much longer. “Give me some slack.”
Calder’s jaw turned to granite. “Are you crazy? That’ll just put you more in the path of the car.”
I met his gaze, begging. “Trust me.”
That muscle in his cheek ticked, but he called out, “Slack!”
They let me down a few more feet just as more snapping sounded. I pushed myself flush against the cliff face, into the tiny divot I’d seen. The car careened over me, the whole world going silent for a moment. Then a crash sounded, followed by the whoosh of an explosion.
I lifted my head, seeing Calder’s panicked expression. “I’m okay. Really. I just need to climb up and untangle myself.”
As others in the crew aimed hoses at the blaze below, I climbed up to where the car had been, using all those skills Calder had taught me years ago. I curved one hand around the tree root for balance as I used my other to untangle the rope.
“Okay, pull me up, boys.”
I was moving so fast, my feet could barely keep up. And then Calder pulled me into his arms. I landed against his chest with an oomph, ignoring the screaming pain in my ribs. His heart thudded against my cheek as he held me close.
“You’re okay.” He said the words over and over like a chant. As if he’d seen me die and come back to life before his very eyes.
“I’m okay.”
Calder’s entire body shuddered. Then he released me and stormed away.
I watched him as he disappeared behind one of the trucks. What the hell had just happened?
4
Calder
The smellof burned rubber filled the air as we piled out of the truck. “Shit,” McNally said as he adjusted his helmet. “That’s bad.”
I moved towards the edge of the ravine, and my entire world stopped. The vehicle at the bottom was familiar. Too familiar. The station wagon I saw in my driveway every day when I got off work and every morning when I left again.
Hands grabbed hold of my arms, jerking me back. It was the only thing that made me realize I’d already been charging over the edge, my girls’ names on my lips.
I jerked awake, sitting up in bed. Sweat dotted my forehead, and the sheets, now damp, clung to me. I muttered a curse as I swung my legs over the side of the bed.
I should’ve known the nightmares would come back after today. The scene had been too familiar. I stared down at my hands. They trembled as if I’d been right back there. I tightened them into fists, my nails digging into my palms.
I pushed to my feet, heading for the hall. Everything was quiet. Still. I eased open the door to the bedroom at the end of the hall. Birdie lay sprawled diagonally on her twin bed, hair everywhere, and face pressed into her pillow. I watched as strands fluttered as she breathed deeply, a little snore escaping.
Sage was twisted into a sort of pretzel shape, her arms covering her head. Her chest rose and fell. I counted the breaths. In and out. Up to fifty and then back down. She was fine. Breathing. Heart beating. Alive.
My hand tightened on the door handle, anger lighting through me so fiercely, I had to back away, worried I’d take the knob right off. I closed the door as quietly as possible and retreated into the hallway.
I had to get it out. This rage would eat me alive. Fury at what had almost been taken from me.
I quickly changed into gym shorts, ignoring the sheets that would need to go in the wash. I picked up a pair of socks and sneakers and carried them downstairs. Opening the door to the garage, I went inside. I left the door ajar just enough so I’d be able to hear the girls if they called out. Then I sat on my weight bench and put on my socks and shoes.
Climbing onto the treadmill, I forced myself to start at an easy jog, even though I wanted to go straight for a punishing pace. After a few minutes of a warmup, I clicked up the speed and incline.
The steady pounding of my feet was the only music I needed. Each hit against the track released a little more of the rage I kept buried deep. Fury at my ex, who had almost taken my girls from me. But more at myself. For not paying close enough attention. For not seeing the truth.