This is not the time for music or poetry.
I tear my gaze from his and I know what I need to voice next.
Please don’t let them think of me any differently.
I’m still the same Lili, just with a few skeletons buried deep.
“Shark, you obviously have read everything in that file. Even the second to last page?” I cringe, Shark catching it.
“That would be correct.” He said deadpan, his face not giving away his emotions. All business. His fist clench at his sides, his only tell of what he found inside.
Ye can say it, trust these men, they need to know how badly the monster tried to ruin ye.
Closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths, I open them to find all three staring back waiting for whatever I would say.
I can’t keep up the façade anymore, I need out of this.
Strength in numbers.
“Ye must know, at one time this information could all be found by public record. My stepfather Raymond is a well-known lawyer in London, it’s where he and my mum met. He ended up being the one to seal away any findings with my name on it after- *Breath* after everything.”
Zander’s voice is but a whisper, “You don’t have to do this-
“Yes, I do.” I interject, stronger now that I’ve heard his voice, and determined to get this off my chest. I met his anxious stare, “Isaac can no longer control me. I have to move on from the monster that resides within.”
His jaw ticks at the mention of my monster’s name.
“Fuck Corporal, let the woman speak. I wanna know what the hell we’re up against.” Ford sat across from me in the chair then gave a tilt of his chin, asking for me to continue.
Breathe,yecandothis.
Yes, I can do this.
“From the start of eleven to just after my fourteenth birthday, Isaac used me as his personal puppet.”
Ford sucks in sharp inhale then a slew of Spanish curse words ensues as he gripped the arms of the chair tighter. I guess I could have worded that a little differently, but it is my perception of how he treated me. Like a marionette tied to strings, unable to do or say anything for myself.
No longer rattled, I continued, feeling the need to get everything out in the open.
“He threatened my Gran, my friend, and anyone I knew. As an officer of the law, I was naive enough to believe he could do so. I couldn’t tell anyone and had to go along with it.” I clear my throat, “I’d never want my actions to cause others harm.”
“Lili.” Zander whispers but I ignore him.
“He took advantage of you, that is good enough for me to get battle ready.” Ford cracks his knuckles one by one, “no one hurts Corporal’s woman and gets away with it.”
I turn my gaze away from This part I knew would be the hardest to get out. I’m embarrassed having to voice it.
“He planned to kidnap me then take me to a place no one would ever find me. In his plans he even went as far as to how many children we’d have together, and where he would begin his new tally on my body.”
I stand and lift my shirt to show the right side of my torso. Through the large colorful peacock adorning my skin lay over one hundred burns, all from Isaac. All eyes fall on the evidence. I despise the attention, but they need to see how disgusting of a man Isaac is.
“What a sick fuck!” Ford shouts as he stands and begins pacing the room, “está muerto! (He is dead)” His second round of Spanish lashings go on.
“No more.” Zander’s snarl snapped like a rabid dog as he blocked the men from viewing my body, tugging my shirt down, then he tried wrapping his arms around me.
I refused his touch.
I wanted nothing more than his touch, to fall apart in his arms, but I couldn’t do that in this moment. It hurt me to see my snubbing cut him deep.