“Please, no more.” Zander pleads, not wanting to see the misery playing in my eyes.
He is sadly mistaken, for it’s not misery, it’s determination to see this plague finally end. The bandage holding this secret together is manky and not held together well anymore. Time to rip it off.
“I need to say it.” My eyes met his, blazing willpower within, “let me speak. There is more I need to say.”
There is no holding back now. This bit of information is going to come as a shock.
“Little did anyone know, he had me with child.”
“He’s a dead man.” Zander growls, his hands clenching at his sides.
“You bet your ass I’m helpin’.” Ford seconds, “fuckin’ vile prick.”
Their disdain for my monster sends shivers of awareness through me, lending comfort and encouragement.
There is one last secret that cannot be found in that file nor anywhere else. That secret is never spoken. Zander knows of my surgical scar; however I would always derail the conversation about it. It’s not something I want anyone to know about. Maybe in time if Zander and I find we can make things work, then he will be the one I confide in. It would impact him just as much.
“Make your call.” Shark cuts through the tension clouding the room.
“Right.” I agree.
Zander reluctantly shifts out of the way so I can retrieve my mobile. I tap it to life, and it begins to ring on speaker. My eyes flicked momentarily to the three men who stood sentry, their hard features and crossed arms doing little to set me at ease.
The line connects as Tamara begins ranting without a greeting.
“Well, it’s about damn time. I mean really, are you making it a purpose to evade me? You don’t answer your mobile and I hate that you’re so far away. Tell me, did your family see him fit? How ‘bout your father? Daniel can be-
“Tamara.” I try to silence her to no avail.
“What is it? Don’t tell me Daniel has his knickers in a twist. That man needs to lighten up-
“Bonsoir Lune.(Goodnight Moon)”
Silence reigns over the line for a few beats. Ford leans in closer to the mobile. The two other men stood, bodies tense and unmoving.
“Merde!(Shit)” came across the line. Tamara knows what this means. It means someone has found my secret.
‘Bonsoir Lune’ is our code phrase my stepfather, Tamara, and I put in place, so we could mention my situation without others knowing. It happened to be a story my younger sister was obsessed with and took everywhere with her.
She begins speaking in rapid French, something she often did when flustered.“Qui sait?”(Who knows?)
“C’est grave.”(It’s bad) Is all I can conjure to say.
Shark chimes in, his tone is strong and all business, “Tamara this is Shark, I’m a good friend of Zander’s. It would be best if we talk in person, not over the phone. I sent files and spoke to Raymond about my concerns. He is expecting to hear from me this afternoon.”
“Retour à Londres, Lili(Return to London, Lili),” Tamara demanded as the clacking of keyboard keys sounds in the background, “I’m booking your flight.”
My gaze jumps from the mobile in my hands to Zander’s stormy depths.I can’t be involved with him, it’s too risky.
He has a business to think about, he doesn’t need the drama and all my bullshite. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for ruining his career.
The need to flee is strong but I know I will not get far before these men find me.
“Whatever you are thinking, don’t.” Zander slides in next to me on the sofa. His arms come around me as he breathes near my ear. His whisper sends a shiver through me as I close my eyes, “we will get through this. You need to trust that my men and I will keep you safe.”
Is he off his trolley?I’m no eejit; trust for him is but a drop in the bucket now. As much as Shark would like to go on about this being his idea, I know better. Zander will push and push until he has answers. He’s done so once already.
Bile rises but I push it back. I need to be strong. The itching for a Xanax is front and center, the comfort, and mind-numbing sensations it lends is what I’m in search of.