“Well, we’re here now,” I said with a shaky smile. “So, I think it's clear this is a program that Evie needs to join. It’s going to be complicated. We’re in the process of developing a parenting agreement with Ben and perhaps some of his brothers.”
“Complicated is what we do best,” Riley said with a smile. “Come through and let's do your intake forms and then we can talk about the Morrison pack.”
“We might be able to help there too,” Fen said, looking thoughtful. “Haze brought me up to speed with the situation.” But then he looked down at Riley and his face transformed. “We know a bit about unconventional pack matings.”
“Oh, we’re not going down that track,” I said hurriedly, following them down to Riley’s office.
“I said that exact same thing,” she shot back with a smile, “and look where I ended up.”
“Just a little prick,”Riley said as she bent over me, inserting a needle to take blood samples.
I’d filled out the intake forms and she’d taken me into the pathology lab to get blood drawn.
“You don’t get to say that often,” Haze said, appearing in the doorway with a grin.
“I’m doing some tests for Lily,” she told him with a roll of her eyes. “I want to get a genetic picture of the both of them and the Morrison pack.”
“They’ve agreed to come in,” Haze informed her. “Not today. We don’t want a repeat of the first time.”
“Things seem to be settling down in that respect,” I assured him. “We’ve got an interim parenting agreement in place. Logan is still a dick and is not getting within ten feet of my daughter…”
Haze nodded, but much more solemnly.
“They’re a strange pack. They were raised by the one father,” Haze informed me. “Old man Morrison lost his brothers in a car accident. Nearly lost his omega too. The boys had to have been pretty young when it happened. I remembered our dads going over to Campbelltown and offering their support. They assumed Morrison would step down and let one of the other packs take control of the town, but he didn’t. Bloody single-minded old bastard clung to his position with everything he had. He courted every significant person in that town, keeping them sweet so they didn’t push for another pack to take over. Made it so that any pack could’ve successfully taken him down in a dominance fight, but to gain what? A town full of people who resented your leadership?”
“If you’re saying Logan’s a prick because he has daddy issues, I’m not sure I care,” I replied, right as the last vial of blood was taken and a small Band-Aid was placed over the draw site.
“Nah, you’re probably right,” Haze said with a grin. “He lost his freaking shit when you guys left.” His fist smacked into his other open hand. “I thought we were gonna have to knock some sense into him for a minute.”
“What do you want from the situation, Lily?” Riley asked. “That’s a terribly invasive question for your geneticist to ask, but…” She peered into my eyes, as if the answers could be found there. “But we have a lot of services at our fingertips, as Gideon gives us pretty much carte blanche to bring other specialists in when needed.” She grinned then. “We’re the catnip that brings broken alphas and omegas to the yard, so we have a lot of latitude.”
“I…” I let out a sigh, then got up from the chair when she stepped back. “No one’s ever asked me that before. Evie wasn’t planned, obviously, and that kinda set the tone for my adult life. I was dealt a hand, and I had to play it, whether I wanted to or not.”
She busied herself labelling my samples, then bagging them all up before putting them in the fridge, but I got the feeling I still had her full attention.
“I want Evie to be happy, healthy and well adjusted, whatever her designation. I want her to find out who she is and go from strength to strength. I need to know she’s going to be OK when she becomes an adult. That she’ll be able to get a job or pursue study, if that’s what she wants. I want…” My voice cracked traitorously. “I want her to be OK.”
“That’s what you want for Evie,” Fen said. “What do you want?”
“I…”
I had to have an answer, right? Like every adult did. A wish list they created in their mind for that day when they won Lotto or something. But even as I felt the pressure rise, the gap in the conversation needing to be filled, I struggled to provide one.
I loved my little bookshop, didn’t I? The customers were amazing and being able to sit down by the fireplace and read a book on slow days was no great hardship. But the fear, that it would all go under, that I would have it torn away from me at any moment by the uncertain financial situation currently and be forced to go and do…what? Apply for retail jobs and work for someone else? And then there were my interludes with alphas on Howlr.
At some point I’d want more than anonymous hook-ups. I’d want someone to come home to, who’d listen to my problems. Who’d stroke my hair, tell me I look pretty and feed me tacos after a long hard day. But I’d never been able to reconcile that in my mind. There were men I’d dated who’d been keen to do just that, but they were lacking that alpha presence I craved.
“I don’t know if I’ve thought that far ahead,” I ended up replying lamely. Riley looked sympathetic, but Haze smiled, those blue eyes twinkling in a way that felt all too familiar.
“Well, then perhaps we can free up some mental space for you to think about that,” he said. “I’d recommend bringing Evie in a few times a week.”
“Haze, we need to clear that with Robert,” Riley said.
“He’ll approve it. In practical terms, Lily has something that is likely to captivate the science community: she’s a female alpha.” He nodded when I began to bristle at that. “No one in this building will allow Evie to be treated like a lab rat to be experimented on. Not you, Lily, not us and not her fathers, when they get involved. She’ll have a lot of people looking out for her, making sure she’s not exploited.”
Riley let out a sigh. “You’re right. Lily, you’ll probably find there’s not much Gideon isn’t prepared to do to get Evie in our program. But…” She hesitated, then scanned my face and body. “Do you want her fathers getting involved too? That’s not a prerequisite. We can consult with them entirely separately from Evie.”
“No.” I felt like a deflating balloon right now, all the fear and frustration leaching out of me, leaving me flat and lifeless. “They need to become a part of things if that’s what they want. But it needs to be supervised and safe. I want her to have her father, fathers, in her life, but only if it benefits her.”