And with that, I was steered out the back to a booth in the dingy end of the pub, right near the pool tables, where I saw their eyes before I saw them, all glowing silver in the low light. I sighed as we got closer.
“He’s the barman,” Blake said, ushering me into the booth, then sitting so I would have to climb over him or the table to get out, Colt sitting on my other side.
“He’s fucking dead—” Colt started to rumble.
“He’s into dudes.”
Colt settled back at that, seeming to collect himself at his brother’s words, and that was when he seemed to finally see me. He blinked, just staring wide-eyed, like he was sure I would slip away any minute.
I wished.
“So,” I said, surveying the table, then nodding to Spider as he hustled over. There was a reason why I low-key loved him. He placed beers in front of the guys and a big schooner of gin and bitter lemon in front of me, even with a slice of lime on the rim. The guy could read my mood like no one’s business. He winked then and disappeared off to create mischief elsewhere. “You obviously came to the city for more than just providing samples for our study.”
“I dunno,” Haze drawled. “Part of the process was very…satisfying.”
“Shut up, Haze,” Ryan said, then looked at Fen.
“You’re right,” his brother said. “We did come for more than that. You know how we always felt about you.”
“We were friends, really good friends,” I said, then took a sip of my drink. Juniper, quinine, and sharp, sharp lemon. Yum. “Like siblings, almost.”
“Jesus, Riley, is that what you believed?” Ryan stared at me then, like he wasn’t entirely sure what he was seeing, his blue eyes narrowing. “We didn’t walk around protecting our sister.”
“The promise to Dad—” I started to say.
“Don’t try and hide behind that,” Colt said, that edge back in his voice. “Riley, you know.”
“What? We’re gonna talk about this now?” I asked, and fuck it, I heard my voice break. I took a breath, then another sip of my drink, before shaking my head slowly. “The thing we were never supposed to admit?” I flopped back against the back of the booth, but that had both of my shoulders resting against Colt’s and Blake’s.
Did they watch my eyes close then, for just a second, feeling the warm pulse that I’d always felt when I was touching one of them? Because that was what had me so sour. When we were kids, it was just the same friendly, loving feeling I got from my family when they gave me a hug. They were a part of the warm cocoon I grew up in, until it was all ripped away.
Dad died, for one. That had sucked so hard, I was still trying to find a way to get past it, but along with that came the gradual withdrawal of that support base I’d relied on for so long. Mum had…faded. Betas didn’t have fated mates, but people theorised that Mum and Dad were, because their love was so strong. When Dad died, she’d kept on caring for me, making sure all my needs were met, except one.
The cuddles became much, much fewer, and I think that was because when I touched her, I felt it—a whistling hole inside her, where Dad had been, and nothing would fill that up, so it had come as no surprise when she too died after I finished my degree. But right when I turned to the guys for that same source of warmth, our bond changed too. My eyes flicked open, every single man there watching me, like I watched them. Rather than soothing and safe, their touch had become something else, darker, more intense, initially bringing with it emotions I wasn’t ready for, and when I was…?
“They’re not for you, Riley.”
I remembered those words as I put my elbows on the table, welcoming the cool distance that came with it when I pulled my body away from Blake and Colt’s.
“You need something from me,” I said bluntly. “I’ve been gone seven years, and we haven’t talked once, not since… I can’t think of anything you could need, but—”
“You.” Colt’s manner was so blunt, like he just didn’t have the energy for niceties anymore. His hand slid over my spine, bringing with it a wave of heat. “We need you.”
“What…?”
Colt grabbed me then, dragging me onto his lap, tucking me into the corner, his body sheltering mine, even as the other guys began to growl. My head rested against the wall as he stared into my eyes.
“I know what’s going on in your head, because we got all the same bullshit too. Every damn day, our dads said, ‘Watch Riley, but keep your hands to yourself. She’s not the one for you.’”
I flinched at those words, and his brows creased as a result.
“They also said it would be different when the omegas came into heat. It wasn’t. I watched Cy and Val and Cheryl all go through it, writhing and begging for…” He swallowed hard. “Something we couldn’t give them. I felt sorry for them, felt a sense of responsibility for the position they were in, but nothing more.” He leaned in then, closing the gap between us slowly, oh so slowly. “Not like I do when I’m near you.”
Colt was so close, I could feel his breath fanning over my lips, smell the mint on his breath.
“This, this is what I needed. To touch you again and see if anything has changed.” His head tilted to one side then, his eyes entirely on my mouth. “To know, once and for all, that it’s only you that makes me feel this way.”
A hand went to the back of his neck, grabbing his collar and pulling him back, and Colt’s eyes flashed as a result.