No, no, no, no…
“The Cumberland Arms,” I gasped out, then sucked in one big lungful of air, and then another. He was smiling when I glanced up at him. “It’s a pub by my place. I’ll meet you there, all of you, at seven.”
Why the hell did I feel a sense of loss when he pulled back, with that smug bastard look on his face? I didn’t get time to ponder that as he reached out, stroking the side of my face, just like he used to. My eyes dropped down, and I felt the warmth of his touch long after he withdrew.
“I’ll see you then, love. Now eat up before your food goes cold. You need your strength.”
And with that, one of the only men I’d ever loved walked out the door. All those feelings I locked down inside me rattled, rattled, and then came bursting out twice as hard, twice as hot.Fen…!something screamed inside me as I watched him disappear, like he was walking away never to come back again, my heart unable to rationalise that I’d see him again in a few short hours. I wanted to run after him, drag him closer, down into my office and—
I jerked my train of thought like a rough handler would a dog to heel, then rubbed at my breastbone, wincing at the ache, before turning and walking back to my office. I dropped my plate on the table, my hands sinking into my hair as I rode it out, wave after wave of pain. His animal howled for me? Fuck, whatever was inside me screamed.
But it eased up. It always did. Then I turned back to my work, eating methodically as I consulted my research, finding the answers to the questions I could deal with, while trying to forget about the ones I couldn’t.
Chapter 8
I got through the day, fobbing Janet and Candy off when they asked about going for drinks. I think even they knew I’d had enough by then. Yet I still had to face the Vanguard pack. I jumped in the shower when I got home, scrubbing my body until it was red and stinging before getting out. It was getting close to seven, and I wanted to get to the pub first, take control of neutral ground, so I flicked through my wardrobe, not sure what to wear.
There was my ‘cocktails with other young urban professionals’ bullshit wardrobe, but even a little black dress couldn’t save me today, so I went with something a bit more basic. Skinny leg jeans with a rip on one knee from the time I had tripped over, drunk on a uni pub crawl, a pair of beat-up old Converse sneakers, and a band T-shirt an old boyfriend had left behind, worn soft and kinda grey. I dragged a brush through my hair, not bothering to style it, and figured my salute to grunge would set the right tone. This was not a date. I was not the girl they were looking for. They could go about their business. So I jumped in the car, pulling into the carpark in no time, and strode on in, only to be hit by the scent of beer, sweat, and old wood.
“Biaaaatch…”
That was the only warning I got as a body slammed into mine, skinny arms and legs wrapping around me like a manic spider monkey.
If you’ve noticed there’s a theme in my choices of friends, believe me, I have too.
“Fucking get off, Spider,” I said, giving one of the fine barmen of this venerable establishment a shove and getting a flash of a grin and a whole lot of guyliner for my trouble.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, dancing back when I took a swipe at him, then raking his bleach blond hair out of his eyes. He was a picture of raffish charm, all the way down to his black painted fingernails. “It’s not Fri-yay. You don’t drink on a school night. Shit, I’m not convinced you don’t, like, sleep in a coffin, drinking the blood of those poor people you study all day.”
“Are you finished?” I asked.
“Ahh…no? You still haven’t answered my question.”
“Who the hell is he?” a deep voice said.
“Whoa…” Spider’s reaction and mine were in complete sync, which worried me greatly, but a freshly washed, much less drawn Blake towered over the two of us, and he wasn’t looking happy. “What the fuck, bro?” Spider said, the speed of his chattering always a sign of impending doom. “Are you gonna go all Hulk smash or what? Because you really need to do that shit outside.”
“Who. Is. He?” Blake bit off each word, and then Spider smiled.
His narrow face lit up like a Christmas tree right before he launched himself at me, wrapping me up in his embrace before lightly dry humping my leg.
“Do you mind?” I said, jabbing my elbow into his ribs, and it took several times to dislodge him.
“Now I know why you’re here,” Spider said, slapping me with the cloth he used to clean tables. Yuck. “You’re meeting your lurver.” He turned around and winked at Blake. “Don’t worry about it, big boy, you’re more my speed than Flame Princess here, if you know what I mean.” He gave Blake a big wink, which somehow seemed to make the guy happy, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Like if you wanna go down the alleyway for a little sucky sucky, people have told me I’ve got a mouth that can suck the chrome off a tow ball…” He eyed Blake speculatively.
“And one that won’t stop dribbling shit when he doesn’t have a dick in it. Spider, this is Blake. Blake, Spider works here, in theory. Speaking of which…”
“Gin and bitter lemon for your sour arse face?” he asked me with a wide grin. “And what’re you having, handsome?”
The idiot fluttered his eyelids manically at Blake. Spider was a hot fucking mess, but he kept the drinks coming, so I tolerated him.
“Riley,” he said, reaching out and hooking his arm around my waist and dragging me close. His nose dropped down to nuzzle into my still damp hair. “I’m having Riley.”
“Bitch, we are talking about this later,” the barman hissed at me.
“No, we aren’t. Drink, stat, and keep ’em coming,” I hissed back. Spider flipped me off, then sauntered away, hopefully to get me a bucket of gin to drown my sorrows in. “You can let me go now.” I wriggled in Blake’s grip.
“No, I can’t.”