Vivica came up behind me and squeezed around my waist. “Now I need to go take care of your woman. She’s been extra sexy lately and I don’t want to waste it.” She winked and kissed me on the neck. The cock-tease. She’d been fondling me in front of them and making out with me randomly just to get a rise out of them. But, she hadn’t joined us in bed yet. I didn’t blame her. I knew that we were going to have to have some boundary discussions soon though. Vivica wanted to make love every night, but I was starting not to have time for my breeders. Like all things, it wasn’t so easily communicated. But, something had shifted.
One day I’d opened up to her about how my pregnancy was making me think about Maya. She really didn’t like that. Ever since she’d been clingy and needy. But, for now, we were a family. I wrapped my arm around my own belly and groaned.
“I hate to play the expecting mother card guys, but I’ve gotta get to bed.” I pulled away from them all and went to go brush my teeth.
While I was brushing my teeth, I rubbed my belly. Vivica, Adam, Ian, Gerard, and even Maya, they were all secondary now. “It’s just you and me baby. You and me. Forever.” I rinsed my mouth, spit in the sink and rinsed. I’d been brushing my teeth six times a day since the morning sickness had reared its ugly head. At least though, the baby was healthy. That’s all that mattered. I looked at myself one last time in the mirror, flicked off the lights, and made my way to the bed. Pulling the covers over my shoulders, I snuggled into the soft sheets.
When Vivica tiptoed in a few minutes later, I pretended to be asleep. She wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled into my neck. When her fingers brushed my stomach, I felt the flutter of butterflies. I knew it was too early to feel him or her yet. Yes, I love you. You’re safe and warm. Stay with me my little one. I’ll be seeing you soon. Flutter, flutter. Rolling over onto my shoulder, I shrugged off Vivica, palmed my lower belly, and drifted off.
-1 Month Later-
My mind was wiped. That orgasm was intense. Every muscle in my body was exhausted. Ian and Gerard were curled up on either side of me, while Adam lay on top of my stomach. I ran my fingers through their damp hair. Every time I thought that we were in a rut, we ended up trying something new. Although I’d never considered myself much of an actress, we decided to take advantage of some of our past events. Vivica came back into the bedroom. She climbed onto the bed and crashed right on top of us.
It’s funny how, in a group, we feel anonymous. In fact, we’re more exposed than ever before. I’d never thought about it before, until I saw an intimate brush of hands. Gerard and Adam were transfixed with each other. I kicked myself for not seeing it sooner. They had fallen in love. It was obvious, the way they favored each other. But, it wasn’t until we invited Vivica into our group did I see it clearly. They had fallen out of rhythm with the group and were intimately familiar with each other’s actions. I wanted them to know it was okay. I understood. Sometimes, monogamy creeps up on people.
“I’m going to write a letter.”
“To who?” Ian inquired.
“Maya.” Vivica answered. I poked her in the ribs.
“Stop telling my secrets.”
“I would if you weren’t so obvious about it.” She was right about that. I’d been lovesick for Maya from the start. I just didn’t want to admit it. I loved having group sex. But, Maya was my person. Something about catching Adam and Gerard holding hands the other day had made me weepy and nostalgic. I hopped out of bed and went to my desk. Grabbing my journal and a pen that I loved, I brought them back to bed. Squishing in between Gerard and Vivica, I propped myself up on my elbows and began to write.
Maya,
A month into being a breeder and I’ve already had more adventures than I could have ever dreamed. Having my first foursome (and five-some…where does the orgy line begin?) was fun and exciting, but I’ve learned that fun only gets you so far.
When I first arrived, my friend Vivica and I were tricked into a foursome by two of the tribe members that were peddling breeders out to other tribes for cash. Vivica and some of the other breeders were kidnapped (and returned), but I was also supposed to be one of those women.
I also didn’t realize how much I took for granted being a witch. Since I’ve been here, I’ve barely practiced. My inspiration has dried up. At first, I couldn’t figure out what that was. But, of course, like all things hindsight is 20/20.
The main piece missing from my life is you. Even after all of our years together, you inspire me. Without you, I have no reason to engage in magic. I’m adrift, lost, and even with this large purpose of being a breeder, I’m purposeless. I need you by my side. Selfish, I know. This letter has only been about my needs and had very little to do with what you need or want from me. I’m sorry for that. But, I’m not sorry for needing you.
If you miss me, please come see me. I’m laying low because of our recent excitement, but I would love to see you. I beg you, please. Even if it’s only to tell me what a wank I am.
All my love,
Cat
Two Months Later
Maya,
I would be lying if I said your silence isn’t painful. However, I’ve had quite a bit to reflect on. And, I have a happy announcement. I’m pregnant!!!!! I’ve got my first prenatal appointment this week and I’m extremely excited. The tribe is j
ust now getting back to normal.
Living in a tribe with a bunch of people is sometimes frustrating. You know that I’m used to getting my way all of the time. You can’t if you are living for the tribe.
However, I’m extremely happy that I’m finally pregnant. I’m pretty sure that I know who the father is even though there are several possibilities. #sorrynotsorry. Two of my breeders are actually secretly in love with each other, but they won’t admit it. Do you think I should let them know, I know? Perhaps it could be the gentle reminder they need that life is short. Of course, it could also be embarrassing and painful.
I’ve had lots more time to think about what I want. I’m grateful. Although practicing magic is a part of me that will always exist, I’d like to study a different type. Instead of worrying about seduction and trickery, I’m going to start learning about healing.
Ironically, the witch that warned me has joined our tribe. She was sick of the fighting. She says she’s too old for something to cost her that much time and energy. I’ve begun studying with her.
And in the end, I still don’t feel like becoming a breeder was a mistake. As a breeder, I’m supported and free to do as I want. I don’t need to think about the next hustle. I’ve finally got the means to stand still and invest in myself. Finally, I can honor the witch in me. And not in the way I’ve been told to. In the way that I want. And in a way that aligns with my inner self. And the Goddess led me here. I have no doubts.