“You know I’m going to beat you Julia,” I said.
“We’ll see. I’ve been watching you closely Elsa. I’ve learned your moves. I’m not going to be a pushover. I’m better than some feral vampire.”
I was already tired from the battle. My wrist ached and my scalp throbbed. I stepped forward though, determined to protect my boys. They offered to fight for me, but I told them not to. This was my fight. Besides, for all of Julia’s inexperience she was still a Slayer and still equipped with weapons that were deadly to them.
*
Julia had a look of relish on her face as we came together in the middle of the room, away from the table. We held our stakes, and circled each other, taking the measure of us.
“Arthur said you were one of the most naturally gifted Slayers he’s ever seen, but I’m going to prove him wrong now. My Mom was one of the best, and I’m going to prove that I’m even better,” Julia said. I remained silent, keeping my breath even and making sure to observe her movements carefully. I watched the way she stepped, and how far she reached. I let her speak, hoping that it would distract her. When I saw an opening I surged forward and lowered my body, crashing into her legs. She yelped and fell back, steadying herself against a chair. Her hair cascaded down her face in thin strands and her eyes were dark and glowering. She shrieked as she came towards me, arms flailing about. Her attacks were fierce and deadly, but they were als
o wild and inaccurate. I managed to evade them all and fought back with a jab of my own in her gut. I twisted around and elbowed her in her back, right where her kidneys were located. I hadn’t used my stake yet. I didn’t want to kill her, all I wanted was for her to stop fighting me.
“Give it up Julia. You can walk away from this. I just want to be left alone,” I said.
“Never! I’m going to prove myself the best damn Slayer there ever was. My Mom died for this!” she cried, and came at me again, screaming loudly, thrusting her stake through the air, trying to stab me. I dodged quickly and her blows narrowly missed. I could tell she wasn’t going to stop unless I made her stop. I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw. I wasn’t just fighting for myself now, I was fighting for my boys as well. Julia had been a thorn in my side ever since we met and I wasn’t about to let her have the final word. She came at me and I parried her blow. She was out to kill, wielding her stake like a knife. I countered her moves and stepped back, leading her forward, waiting for the opportunity I needed to strike.
I was supposed to be a vampire Slayer, not a killer of humans. However, I wondered if there was really much difference? Ever since I had become aware of this world I had thought of vampires as nothing but monstrous creatures, but now it was clear that some of them at least were kind and still had souls, while some humans were cold and callous. There had been moments when I thought there was hope for Julia and that she might actually find a way through her pain towards the light, that she would change her way of thinking and become a better person. When she became a Slayer I thought that she would see her potential and that the new perspective of the world would help her realize that there was more to life than being vindictive and spiteful. Instead, it had made her crazed with power. I felt even worse knowing that Arthur had obviously given her this directive. His betrayal came from the heart, her betrayal was just her being a bitch.
I never intended to kill her. I never wanted to cause that much harm to another person, but as she came at me I knew I wasn’t going to have a choice. There was only so much defensive work I could do to deflect her blows. At some point I had to strike back. She screamed like a banshee and I continued backing away, waiting for the right moment. I watched her hands flail about and then, when the time was right, I shifted my weight onto my back foot and angled my body back, kicking her in the middle of the chest. I struck with such impact that she was thrust back as though she had been hit by a car. Her body crumpled and cracked as it slammed against the rear wall, and her head jerked. There was a sickening crack as her body slumped to the ground, and the stake rolled out of her hand, sliding limply against the table. Her head lolled to the side and her eyes were lifeless. It had happened instantly and I rushed to her, hoping that there was still some flicker of life inside her, but there wasn’t.
I hung my head. This day had extracted a heavy toll, and it shouldn’t have been that way. I was supposed to save people, not kill them, but with Julia I had no choice.
Chapter Seventeen
The boys came around me to support me.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Josh said.
“She attacked you. She had it coming,” Troy added. Adam remained silent. I stared at Julia’s lifeless body and then looked around at the dust that had settled on the table and chairs; the only remnants of the master vampires. I bowed my head in sorrow for Julia, and then turned to face the men I loved, the men who had saved me.
“Thank you,” I said. Troy took my hand and squeezed it gently. I looked at each of them in turn and offered them appreciative smiles. I rested my head against Josh’s strong body, and I breathed out in a long exhalation. My body trembled after all the strain, and the pain still throbbed from where I had been wounded.
“Why did she attack you like that?” Adam asked.
“Because she was ordered to, by my watcher. Slayers aren’t supposed to fraternize with vampires like we do. She was told to take care of me if I showed any sign of disloyalty. They weren’t going to let me get away with my feelings for you,” I said.
“But you did anyway?” Josh asked.
“Of course. I’m not going to obey anything that tells me these feelings are wrong. Being with you is the only thing that’s ever felt right to me. I’m just sorry that Julia had to pay the price, although she never had the mentality to be a true Slayer. She was always too hot-headed. Arthur made a mistake in sending her with me…I will have to have words with him,” I said with grim determination. My face turned to stone. Everything I knew was crumbling before me. The academy had turned out to be a sham, my mentor had sent someone to kill me behind my back, and I had killed a fellow Slayer. I wasn’t sure what the punishment for that was, but I knew it wouldn’t be a good one.
“Why did you come for me? I thought you weren’t going to leave your masters?” I asked.
Josh glanced at the other two. “After you left me I was afraid and angry. I couldn’t believe that you were a Slayer, or that I had fallen in love with you. But then I thought about what you said, about if we were really free. I thought about a lot of things actually. You know I’ve always been thinking about what happens to our soul-”
“Josh, if there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that you have more soul than Julia ever did. I’m starting to think that everything I was taught about vampires was wrong. I don’t think you’re soulless, and I don’t think you have to be worried about being anything less than you are…any of you,” I said, hoping to reassure them.
“Thank you Julia. That’s what I’ve been thinking about. On the way home I thought about the kind of man I wanted to be and I realized that undeath didn’t have to be the end of things. We have been given a second chance at life which very few people get, and we were wasting it. And I thought that if I was able to still dream and hope for things, if I was still able to fall in love, then maybe I did have a soul after all. And it’s such an elusive and ethereal thing there’s no definitive answer anyway. There’s nobody who can turn around and tell me that I don’t have a soul.”
“Exactly. The same holds true for all of you, and I don’t think I could have fallen in love with any of you if you didn’t have souls. If there wasn’t something special and unique about you then I think you would all be the same, and that wouldn’t be very fun at all,” I said. Given the overwhelming nature of the situation it was easy for me to fall into my emotion and focus on my love for them. I was drained and exhausted, and the adrenaline was still rushing through my system. The shock of it all meant that I hadn’t processed the finality of Julia’s death even though her dead body was sitting near us. I also wasn’t ready to think about the betrayal I had suffered. It niggled at the back of my mind, as though it was trying to remind me of something, but I couldn’t face it yet. I wanted to focus on the warmth of intimacy and affection.
“Adam, from the moment we met I was intrigued by your quiet nature. You seemed removed from the world, but I had a feeling you had something interesting to say. In botany class we spoke and I was struck by your affection for the plants. Your profound interest and way of looking at the world really struck a chord with me, and when we kissed it was special. I know you might not have realized how special it was at the time, but I wanted to be close to you.” As I said this I noticed Josh and Troy arch their eyebrows. Neither Adam nor I had made mention of the fact that we had kissed in the midnight gardens, but no comment was made.
“I know that you have suffered sorrow in your life and you have been hard on yourself,” I continued, “but that is no reason to stop yourself from feeling the kind of love that you deserve. I learned a long time ago that you can’t force anyone to feel anything. I used to try my hardest with the people who came around the orphanage. I always wished that they would love me, but for one reason or another they never chose me and that didn’t make me any less of a person. It didn’t make me any less worthy of love, just like your experience hasn’t made you any less worthy. You’re such a compassionate and kind-hearted person. I know you only want the best for the world and the best for me, and I’m grateful for that. I promise that I will always take care of you and I trust that you will never hurt me, just like I shall never hurt you. We will all look after each other and it’s going to be wonderful.”
I turned to Troy. “Troy,” I said, with a smile on my face, “you have always been so enthusiastic and eager to try new things. I have never gotten the sense that you are burdened by anything. You try your best at life and you always strive to push yourself, whether it’s on the basketball court or in your personal life. I wish I hadn’t been forced to see Mrs. Thorpe because I would have loved to have seen you play, and I’m sure I’ll get the opportunity at some point. You’re strong, confident, and enthusiastic. I know that you’ll help to push and encourage each of us to be better versions of ourselves.”
Then I turned to Josh. I took his hand and squeezed it happily. Although Adam had been the first one of the three I had kissed, Josh was the first one I had fallen for. I smiled widely at him and there was an unspoken sentiment that passed between us, as though we understood that we would always be there for each other no matter what.