Walking into the room, I sneak him away from the others. I carefully bring the bags to the bathroom, where I change his diaper. He plays with my hair and makes smacking noises. I smile at how unbothered he is this morning.
“Do you want to see lights?” I ask after he’s cleaned up.
“Lights,” he replies and walks with me to the living room.
Finding a spot near the fireplace, he admires those brightest in the dark room. The drapes remain closed in here, so he should be entertained for a while.
I walk to the kitchen to make coffee and search for food. The fridge is fully stocked. I pour Beau a cup of milk and wait on the food until Silas and the kids are up. I don’t know if my hero plans to join us for breakfast. In fact, I’m not sure what’ll happen today.
Last night, he talked about picking up our stuff from the house. How soon before the Copper family realizes Neal’s gone missing and I’ve moved out? For now, they won’t be able to find us.
“Don’t cook,” Silas tells me as he appears freshly showered. “Rosemary likes making breakfast. She’ll be upset if you don’t wait.”
I only nod as I blow on my cup of coffee and admire him. Silas tugged his damp hair back into a man-bun. With his bearded face uncovered, he’s less feral and far more handsome. Silas owns a casual ruggedness that most men can’t pull off.
Shuffling closer, I catch him near the windows, where the light is better.
“Your eyes are the palest blue.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t. The lighting wasn’t good last night,” I say and then shrug. “I was curious.”
Silas watches me warily. I wonder if his ex-wife feared him. Was she really the villain in their relationship?
Neal claimed all kinds of things about me. I cheated on him, yet he wouldn’t divorce me. I stole his money, yet he never let me work to make my own money. I was a bad mother, yet he refused to let me take birth control. I was abusive toward him, yet he never showed up at a teacher’s conference with a bruised cheek.
People lie to themselves, always and forever. I know I promised myself I would be free one day. I’d take college courses. Become a professional woman. Own my own car. Travel to places I’d only seen on TV and in movies. I just had to get through today or tomorrow and these blessings would find me.
The only lie I’ve successfully stopped telling myself is the next man will be better than the last. I always knew Neal was trash, but he was new garbage.
On the surface, Silas is a murderer who’s collected a battered woman and her defenseless children for his own private self-help therapy. He wears the face of a monster already considering where to bury my body.
However, I believe he paid for our fun day at Chuck E. Cheese. I bet he’s the Good Samaritan who sent Triple-A to fix my tire when we ended up stuck after a doctor’s appointment.
Those generous acts allow me to hope for more from the scary man currently eyeing me as if I’m his enemy.
After the remaining kids get up, I organize an assembly line of fresh diapers, clean clothes, and brushed teeth. Blair seems more sensitive about her arm this morning, so I help her get dressed.
“Rosemary is making breakfast,” I tell them in the bathroom.
“My mommy,” Brooklyn replies, possessive of me when the other woman is mentioned.
I smile at the child dumped on me randomly. Now, I feel like Brooklyn’s always been mine. She was a beautiful, little surprise.
Silas could prove to be the same way. I find him in the kitchen, frowning at the wall. As the kids file into the room, he blinks a lot as if waking from a nightmare. Blair asks him if they can get Succotash today. He explains how he has people coming over to help us move.
“We’ll find the cat,” he tells her in a voice implying he’s making a promise.
Studying Silas, I recall a time when I lost my purse at the store. Well, not really lost. It was clearly swiped from my cart when my back was turned. I’d panicked until an employee said she found it on a shelf. I assumed the kids had been messing around.
Later, when I paid for our groceries with the meager cash Neal gave us, I found a wad of twenties stashed in a pocket. Looking around, I thought someone was using me for a scam. Like they’d accuse me of stealing it. I nearly handed it over to the cashier.
For the rest of the day, I waited for someone to show up to demand the money back. I counted out five hundred dollars. It must be drug money. Someone stuck it in my purse to hide it from the cops or another criminal. I was literally crying over how I was going to get in trouble.
Days passed and no one came around looking for their money. Once I accepted how I got to keep it, my biggest problem was if I should spend it right away or save it. In the past, Neal always seemed to locate my hidden cash. No way did I want him taking my happy accident money.
I bought the kids new shoes and took them to the zoo. We ate out without them having to share a four-piece McNuggets Happy Meal. I got Succotash her shots and an oil change for the car. The money went fast, but every single thing I spent it on was a blessing.