The hot water caresses my body as I sit crouched over. I can’t believe how steamy the room gets. I think of that beast of a man stretching out in this shower.
I try to see the world through Silas’s eyes. He looks down at everyone. Doorways are meant for smaller men. People probably fear him everywhere he goes.
How did I never notice him stalking me? Sure, I noticed him several times. I remember once worrying he might hassle us when Brooklyn was pitching a fit at the store. Yet, I never really looked at the large biker.
Of course, I don’t pay much attention to anyone besides my kids. I feel like a loser. Beehive Ridge is full of assholes. I have no reason to live outside my happy little bubble.
The kids also need my constant attention. Brooklyn likes to wander in stores. Beckett asks to be carried all the time. Beau gets overly focused on something and refuses to keep moving. Blair wants to be in charge.
As the hot water works on my sore muscles, I scan my memory for glimpses of my stalker. I quickly realize I saw him more than I first remembered.At the grocery store one day, Silas was picking out a box of cereal. One time at the park, he sat on a bench and read off his phone. During a trip to the doctor’s office, he waited at another elevator.
As the water washes away my fatigue and aches, my mind spots Silas in the background of so many mundane activities. There he is at the Chuck E. Cheese birthday party for Blair’s friend. I’d been there with the other kids, but we didn’t have money for anything. My babies wanted what they saw at the other tables. I felt like a loser to have brought them somewhere they couldn’t enjoy.
Like a miracle, food arrived at our table along with tickets so my babies could play. I thought one of the parents felt sorry for us and paid.But was Silas the real hero that day?
I leave the shower and wrap myself in a towel. If I wasn’t so fat, I’d run to the bed and kiss all over the man who made my life easier. Even before he got rid of Neal, Silas was watching out for my babies.
Rather than throwing myself at him, I consider whether my body interests Silas. I’m not sure he even knows what he wants. His wife broke something inside him. Now, he expects me to fix it.
That’s not what I know how to do. When my parents struggled, I couldn’t save them, so I ran away. When life got too difficult with a violent man, I found a new one. I’ve never fixed anything. Not in myself or anyone else.
If Silas really only wants love, I’m sure I can figure out how to make him happy. I love my babies with everything I am. None of them were planned. I felt disappointed every time I got pregnant. I was horrified when Neal showed up with Brooklyn and told me to raise his bastard, motherless daughter. Each child left me more trapped. Yet, they own my heart.
Silas could fit in there, too. However, I suspect he wants more than love. He craves quiet when there’s chaos. He desires to trust someone again. However, I don’t think people can be fixed that way. He probably needs therapy, not a woman and five kids.
Dressed in my beach ball shirt and a pair of denim shorts, I brush my hair and apply a little foundation and lip gloss from my purse. I never really wear much makeup. Neal said I looked like a whore when I got fancied up for a party once. I don’t know how Silas wants me to look. This bit of effort will have to do since I have nothing else to work with.
I open the bathroom to find Silas standing on the other side. With his face mostly hidden behind his hair, he reminds me of a predator startled while preparing to attack.
“I’m done,” I say and step out. “You have a really nice shower.”
Silas glares at me, exhaling hard. I wait for him to lash out. Instead, he takes in the sight of me and goes soft.
“You smell good.”
“I used your stuff.”
Silas surprises me by grinning. “I like the way I smell.”
“So do I.”
Frowning again, he’s overly suspicious. I bet the raging erection currently attempting to escape his boxers doesn’t help.
“Do you need help with that?” I ask, gesturing at his hard dick as I study his face.
“No.”
“Because I’m eight months pregnant?”
“Because you’re only doing what you think you need to do to survive,” he says and then braces his hand next to my head. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
I look up at him, wishing I could see his eyes better. I don’t even know what color they are.
“You looked too adorable all curled up.”
Silas studies my face before grunting and moving past me to get to the bathroom. Though he doesn’t shut the door, I sense he isn’t interested in me joining him.Is the big bad biker realizing he bit off more than he can chew by bringing us here?
That’s a problem for later. I check the security feed to find Beau sitting up in bed and looking at the lights.