Andy didn’t know she was pregnant when she reached out to us. She stayed with us most of the pregnancy. I only went to see Ava for a few weeks. When I returned Andy was gone.
I knew she went back. Her scared voice as she called me for help will forever haunt me. That son of a bitch beat her to death and this little one almost didn’t make it. I got there just in time to save her, but only her.
Andy took her last breath pushing her out. My thoughts spiral. My heart is aching.
“You must be Ny.” I look up to find an older white woman. “Andy spoke highly of you.”
“You must be her mom.”
“Yes.”
I stand and move to hand her the baby. I know I can’t keep her, no matter how much I want to. Andy was a hard doll to secure. We never should have taken her in. She had too many ties.
Family, a baby on the way, her crazy ex. There was just something about her that made me want to protect her.
“Don’t blame yourself. We all tried,” the woman says as she takes the baby.
I can’t speak so I bob my head. I kiss the baby’s forehead and turn to leave. “Ny.”
I turn to look her in the eyes. “Thank you. I lost my daughter, but you kept him from taking everything.”
My lips tremble as I try to smile and reach to give her arm a squeeze. I rush from the room and race to the elevator. Thankfully, no one is in the car with me.
I put my head back against the elevator wall and break down. Nothing has changed. I’m still not married, and at thirty-nine, I don’t have a single child.
Gio only put a Band-Aid on my feelings. Here we are three and a half years later, and I still have nothing. No revenge, no family. Nothing.
“What am I doing?” I sob.
I can’t keep doing this. I thought it was my temper that made me leave last time, but in truth, I did the right thing. This thing of his is more important than me. I don’t want to look up in another ten years and still be waiting.
Waiting to deliver a bullet that should have rung out twenty-four years ago. I’m tired. While waiting for this man to die, I’m dying.
The elevator makes it to the ground level, and I step out. I’m so numb, I don’t know how I get to my car. I drive to the Dollhouse on autopilot.
When I park, Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars” starts to play. I fall against the steering wheel, sobbing. I’ve sacrificed everything and I haven’t gotten my mom and dad back.
They’re never coming back. I can’t even go out in public with the men I love. I’m so broken, I don’t think I can make another month, let alone another year or two of this.
I start to hyperventilate. I’m having a full-on panic attack. I find my phone and dial the last number I called. I don’t even know who that was.
“Hello.”
“Gwen,” I sob. “I can’t breathe. This is never going to end. I love them, but I can’t. I have to get away.”
“Ny, I need you to calm down and breathe for me. Come on, honey, breathe. Where are you?”
“I’m at the Dollhouse. I wanted to tell him I’m going. This is not what I want.”
“Okay, I’m going to text Jace and have him come outside.”
“Please don’t. He’s only going to try to stop me. I just need a minute. I need to get out of the car. I’ll call you back.”
My thoughts are so jumbled, and my chest feels so tight, like I’m having a heart attack. I hang up and push the door open. I nearly tumble out of the car. Leaning against it, I suck in a deep breath with my eyes closed.
“You.” Is snarled before me.
I open my eyes and lock gazes with Riccardo Esposito. He’s glaring at me as he looks me up and down.
“What do you want?”
“You look just like your mother.” He tilts his head and moves closer. “What’s your business with the finook?”
He scoffs. His breath fanning in my face, it reeks of alcohol. “Tell me you’re not one of his playthings. That would be a fucking waste. Just like your mom. You know, she was a gorgeous woman. She would have been my one exception if I were going to lie with one of your kind. Too bad I had to have her killed before I got a taste.”
I ball my fists at my sides to keep from swinging. My gun is in the glove compartment. I calculate how fast I can get to it.
“Hey, honey, how you doing?” Lucas comes out of nowhere and gets between us.
“Hey,” I say and try to force a smile.