“Come on, Dyl. I don’t care about that. I thought you’d be longer. And I know I asked how Summer is, but man, you look worse than when you went in. What happened?”
“I…Fuck!” I yell and slam my hand down onto the dash.
Joel looks at me with concern and sympathy in his eyes. “I take it she ended things?” He cringes as the words leave his mouth.
I laugh because that would actually be easier to deal with right now. I know I could change her mind if that were the case. We’ve got something special, and she knows it. But this, the darkness in my head, is so much worse than that.
Joel’s expression turns puzzled as his concern for my feelings morphs into worry for my mental state. “Have to say, you’re scaring me a little.”
I laugh again and then groan before dropping my face into my hands. Realizing the car hasn’t started moving, I quickly look up to Summer’s apartment, but I can’t see her in the window. I don’t even know why I thought she’d be there. “Can we drive, please? I’ll explain on the way.”
Halfway through my story, Joel pulls over to give me his full attention, and when I finally finish, he stares at me for a good minute before speaking. “You’ve been carrying that around all this time?”
I nod, suddenly all talked out.
“I wish I’d known; that would have made a great case study for one of my classes.”
I punch him in the arm and huff out a laugh.
“In all seriousness, that’s a lot for one person to hold on to. You know it’s not your fault, right? They said his phone was found near the driver’s door, so he was most likely using it. And the other driver said he came out of nowhere…”
Everything he’s saying is true, but Dad wouldn’t have been there if I hadn’t sent him after that girl…after Summer.Fuck.
“I can’t do this. I’m sorry. Can you drop me home?”
“You’re not coming?”
I give him an apologetic grimace, and he smiles sadly in return. “Okay, I’ll drop you home.”
I’m barely home five minutes when Lucy calls. Fucking Joel…
“Hey, Luce,” I say as I drop onto the couch.
“Little Bro, how are you?”That’s a good question. How am I?I sigh and look to the roof for the answer. When I take too long to respond, Lucy fills the silence. “What’s wrong, Dyl?”
“Nothing.” I pause. “Everything.”
“Okay. I’m going to need details if you want my help, sympathy, or advice.”
I laugh but it’s definitely forced. “Joel didn’t fill you in?”
She half laughs in return and sighs. “No, just sent a text to say I needed to call you.”
I exhale loudly into the phone. “Where do I start?”
“Wherever you want. I’ve got nowhere to be. Take your time.”
Resting my face in one hand, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I still don’t really know how I feel or what to think, so I’m struggling with what to say. Lucy knows most of the story, so you’d think it would be easier than telling Joel, but it’s not. This story involves her father, too, and I’m not sure how she’ll react.
“Do you remember me telling you about the little girl in the parking lot?”
“I do,” Lucy says slowly, unsure where I’m going with this.
“It was Summer,” I whisper, my fingers drumming restlessly against my thigh as I wait for her to catch up, sort through the memories.
I can almost hear a gasp before she yells, “No freaking way!”
I huff out a laugh, though nothing about this is funny. “Yes way,” I confirm.