Noah leaned across the inner console, bringing the burr of cigarette smoke with him. She didn’t want to find it attractive but the edge of it, the ugliness, was making her heart pound.
“You still want me to fuck you?”
She nodded dumbly.
“No, you don’t.” He moved closer. So close, stubble scratched her cheek. “I’ll give you nightmares.”
“Youwon’t.” She still sounded bratty, but she couldn’t help it. Her nipples were throbbing and her—god it was so hard to call it any of the words—ached. She had never wanted a man so badly. Why couldn’t Noah just take her? Not make her touch his penis and discuss her feelings, but take control of this situation.
Noah’s hand covered hers, guiding her palm along his erection. She felt him swell beneath the denim and the situation was so bright, so real. She tried to jerk her palm away but Noah’s hand tightened, keeping her where she was. “You are scared of me, aren’t you?”
“A little bit.”
“What if I said I like that?”
Nicole closed her eyes, too turned on and overwhelmed to make sense of the question. He was so big. So big and so hard… “I don’t know.”
He made a chainsaw noise in the back of his throat. “You like it, too, don’t you? The thought of me forcing myself on you? Making you take it?”
Yes.She felt the answer as much as she thought it. She licked her lips, her skin ten times more sensitive than it should have been. “Can we do that?”
His face was in shadow, but she could see him shake his head.
A stab of misery. “Because you don’t want me?”
A snarl and her head jerked back, pain bursting at the back of her skull. Noah’s fist was tight in her hair. She jerked her head forward, but he held her fast. “Because I’ll hurt you, Nicole. I’ve wanted you for too long, too fucking bad to hold back. You let me into that little pussy, I’ll fuck you until it hurts. I want it too bad not to.”
Her stomach tightened, she felt like she was falling, spinning through space with no fear of hitting the ground. “Noah, please?”
He gave a hard laugh. “You think you’ll like it, but you don’t have a fucking clue. It’ll be hours, Nikki. I’ll fuck you in every hole you have. You’ll be so desperate you’ll do whatever I want, beg for shit you’ve never heard of.”
She was shaking, sure if he wasn’t holding her, she’d slide to the van floor. “I want that.”
“Do you?”
She nodded, the movement sending pain shooting through her scalp, but it was nothing compared to the liquid heat between her thighs. “I know I do.”
He bent forward. She thought he was going to kiss her, but his teeth closed on her lower lip and pain whistled through her. She gasped.
“You don’t know shit. You’ve only fucked three guys and I bet you wanted to marry all of them. You won’t want to marry me, Nikki. You won’t want tolookat me once I’m done with you.”
He released her hair and she slumped back into her seat, scalp tingling. Noah eased her palm away from his cock. “You okay?”
The question confused her. Was she okay? Was anything okay? It all felt up for debate. “Kinda?”
He nodded. “Want me to walk you up?”
She looked over at him and as with their hallway kiss, she wondered if the hair-pulling and lip-biting had been a hallucination. “Will you come inside?”
But she knew the answer was no even before he shook his head. “Go to bed.”
She could have stayed but in truth, she was so rattled, it was a relief to leave his strange van and the strange thing between them. To get back to the familiar un-sexiness of the real world and away from the undeniably sexy, but incredibly confusing unknown that was Noah Newcomb.
Chapter 5
Nicole slept badly. She woke multiple times, her pillow crammed between her legs, the memory of Noah pulling her hair back so vivid, it might still have been happening. When she got up to pee she was still lopsided with alcohol and a guilty conscience. For once, she successfully fought the urge to be productive and got back into bed, determined to sleep her bad mood away. It didn’t work. She stayed entirely conscious, replaying her ride with Noah; the tobacco and cinnamon smell of his van, the feel of his cock through his jeans, the sting of his teeth closing on her lip.
As the sun rose and her mind stayed on Noah, Nicole found her hand had idled into her underwear. She was so wet, it was obscene. Gross, but she couldn’t stop. She stroked herself and was soon so swollen, her panties felt like a chastity belt. But no matter how turned on she got, she couldn’t embellish her memories into a satisfying fantasy. Every time she tried, she saw Noah ordering her to bed like a strict parent and winced into her pillows. Eventually, she gave up, lying back and hating her needy body. She was a grown woman masturbating over a man who didn’t even want to sleep with her. Pathetic. She got up and took a shower, scrubbing away the slipperiness between her legs. She brushed her teeth and completed her Korean skincare regimen, an anti-pollution oil cleanse, a green tea water-based cleanse, a lemon exfoliating scrub. She applied a thin layer of AHA toner followed by floral essence. Next came Vitamin C serum and a coat of collagen moisturizer. By the time Nicole dabbed tinted SPF 50+ CC cream under her eyes, she felt renewed. The problem was, now she was out of bed, she had nothing to do. The studio was closed, Sam was still with Scott, and Tabby wasn’t home. She supposed she could call Aaron about cancelling the wedding, but that ranked slightly above ‘cleaning the toilet’ as a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon.