He nodded.
Nicole’s head throbbed. From the alcohol or disappointment, she wasn’t sure. “Why?”
He shook his head, snapping his lighter to create another red cherry. The sudden light combined with the curl of his lips made him look rakish. Nicole pictured Noah’s big mean tattoos peeking around the corners of a tailored suit. Her insides squeezed tight. They were almost at her place. She was never going to know why he wouldn’t sleep with her, and tomorrow she’d be sober enough to regret everything. She twisted her hands together and gasped as a bone in her index finger popped.
“Stop.” Noah voice was hard. “Stop hurting yourself.”
She untwisted her fingers. “Nervous habit.”
He muttered something, exhaling a silvery stream of smoke.
“What was that?”
“Probably something your ex gave you,” he said through his teeth. “Along with the dumb cunt idea you’re not sexy.”
“Oh.” Her lips spread in an unbidden smile. “Does that mean you think I am?”
“Nicole, I swear to Christ…”
“What?”
Noah inhaled, turning almost an inch of cigarette to ash. “You better not be serious.”
It was silly to be flattered by a non-compliment, but Nicole couldn’t stop smiling. She rubbed her upper arms, trying to smooth the goosebumps.
Then a horrible idea occurred to her. “Are you in love with Kelly? Are you taken?”
Noah scowled. “Fuck, no.”
Lightness, with an unpleasant aftertaste. “So why can’t we…you know?”
He let out a little groan. “Nikki…”
She knew she was whining like a brat who wanted a pony, but it felt like she was edging toward an honest answer and she didn’t have anything to lose. “If you think I’m sexy and we’re both single?”
“Dumping your ex doesn’t mean you should come looking for a fuck from me.”
He did want to go home with her, Nicole realised. She could hear it in his voice, but she could also hear his resolve. She might get a reason but she wouldn’t be touched, so why bother?
She rubbed her shoulders, trying to relax. You’d think the big guy with the dirty tattoos who stared point-blank at her tits was a safe bet, but you never knew, did you? She moved her hands lower; her nipples were swollen, aching from rubbing against Sam’s dress. Maybe she’d take a bath when she got home and—
“Nicole.”
“What?” She frowned, then realised her hands were inside her dress, massaging her breasts.
“Sorry,” she said, pulling her hands away. “I’m…you know. But that’s not your problem, as you made clear. And I respect.”
Noah slowly ground his second cigarette into the ashtray. Something about it made her mouth dry. She turned to look out the window and realised they were on her street. Noah pulled up outside the studio and turned off the engine. She could hear crickets and cicadas, nature penetrating even the inner suburbs. Her fingers shook as she unclipped her seatbelt. “Okay, thanks for the lift—”
“Give me your hand.”
His voice was low. Hard. Before she processed what he’d asked, she’d extended her palm. Noah took it, his fingers rough and warm. Then he positioned her hand on his thigh. Only it wasn’t his thigh, she was touching his…
Nicole whimpered. “That’s…”
“Yeah.”
Heat spread through her belly like lava, but she couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything except clasp her hand to Noah’s erection. She was breathing hard and fast like an accordion. “What are you…?”