Jack walked through the house he had bought before Harper had called time on their relationship. It had been repainted and recarpeted throughout and the interior designer was in the process of organising curtains and other soft furnishings. The house still needed a bit of work but it was taking shape. What a pity he wouldn’t be needing it after all. Or should he keep it so Marli had somewhere to grow up rather than in a hotel? But the house was too big for a single dad and an only child.
A single dad.
How those words were like a punch to the guts. He had planned to be married to Harper by now but she had refused to accept his offer of a secure future. He had been so confident she would fit in with his plans...well, reasonably confident. Harper wasn’t the sort of person who could be forced to do things she didn’t want to do, which was one of the things he admired about her. One of the many things. Things that made it hard for him to get through a day without thinking of her, without missing her, without wanting her. And the nights were worse, way worse. He had turned in bed several times to reach for her, only to feel the crushing blow of realisation that the other side of his bed was empty.
Harper was gone and she was not coming back.
And somehow he would have to get used to it.
CHAPTER TWELVE
HARPERWASAThome a couple of days later with Marli when the doorbell rang. She wasn’t expecting Jack back until the end of the week and she knew Aerin and Ruby had other commitments. Poor Ruby had even mentioned postponing her own wedding so they could keep up with everything. She and Aerin had taken on so much extra work because of her taking maternity leave, something that worried her deeply. It wasn’t just her who had been blindsided by the arrival of Marli but her business partners too. But how could she leave her baby in the care of strangers in order to get back to work? And did she even want to go back to full-time work? She was enjoying being a mother, far more than she’d ever expected to. It wasn’t always easy—Marli had occasional colic and it was harder to get her into a routine than all the baby books and parenting blogs said. But Harper loved seeing her grow and her heart melted every time Marli smiled or cooed at her. She was so like Jack in colouring, with those big blue eyes and ink-black hair.
Harper juggled Marli along one of her arms and checked the security monitor Jack had insisted on installing a few days ago. Jack’s mother was standing outside with a basket balanced on one arm. Harper opened the door even though she could have done without an impromptu visitor right then, especially one as critical and judgemental as Liz Livingstone. It was four in the afternoon and Harper hadn’t had a shower, for Marli had been fractious for most of the day.
‘Is it a good time to call in? I know you must be busy with the wee one,’ Liz said.
Harper shrugged as if she didn’t care either way. ‘It’s fine. Come in. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Marli’s not had a decent sleep all day and...’ She had to stop before her emotions got the better of her. The last thing she wanted to do was burst into floods of tears in front of Jack’s mother.
‘Are you okay, dear?’ Liz’s softer maternal tone only made it harder for Harper to keep control. ‘Here, let me take her for you.’ She put the basket on the floor and reached for the baby.
Harper handed Marli to her grandmother, her eyes misting over, her chin developing a distinct wobble. ‘I’m okay. Just a bit tired.’
Liz rocked from side to side, her hand gently stroking Marli’s back in a rhythmic fashion. ‘But of course you’d be tired. Looking after a baby on your own is hard work. And the lack of sleep really gets to you. I remember being an emotional wreck most days until I got Jack into a routine.’
‘Was he a difficult baby?’
Liz gave a wistful smile and glanced at the baby now settling in her arms. ‘Not really. I was the problem, to be honest. I wanted to be the best mother in the world. I set unrealistic expectations for myself.’ She sighed and continued in a reflective tone, ‘I was missing my work but I felt guilty about it. I thought I should’ve been happier being a full-time mother like my own mother and my mother-in-law. But I was soboreda lot of the time. Of course, I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. All of my mum friends seemed happy being at home all day with a baby, but I nearly went out of my mind.’
‘I think I have the same problem,’ Harper said, only realising it at that moment. The older woman’s honesty about her experience had helped Harper to gain more insight into her own see-sawing emotions and increasing stabs of guilt. ‘I’m not used to spending so much time at home. I’m usually flat out with my photography, if not taking photos, then editing and formatting and consulting with clients. I want to be a good mother but I also want my career, and I don’t know how to manage both.’ Tears began to leak from her eyes and her shoulders shook with the effort of trying to keep control.
‘Oh, you poor darling,’ Liz said, patting one of her shoulders in a soothing manner, whilst still managing to settle Marli. ‘And you’ll be missing Jack, I expect.’
Harper stretched her mouth into a don’t-feel-sorry-for-me grimace. ‘I’m the one who broke things off.’
‘Yes, but I think you did the right thing.’
‘Because you would prefer someone a little more acceptable as your future daughter-in-law?’ Harper couldn’t quite remove the cutting edge to her tone.
Liz gave a hefty sigh. ‘I probably deserve that. But I was so shocked when Jack said he was getting married to someone he didn’t love. Every mother wants the best for their child and I’m no different. But I worry it’s because of me that he resists falling in love.’
‘How could it be your fault?’
Liz gave a sad-looking smile and laid the now sleeping Marli in the bassinet. She turned to look at Harper. ‘I loved Jack’s father so much and we were happy in the early days, but then he got sick and...and well, I lost the man I fell in love with. I nursed him for years, always hoping he would come back to me, but he didn’t. I think Jack was deeply affected by that. It made him feel I had given away too much of myself and got nothing in return. But I don’t see it that way. I loved my husband, and I took my wedding vows seriously—in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, till death do us part.’ Her voice trembled on her last sentence but she continued stoically, ‘If you love someone with your whole heart and soul, then you love them for ever. I may have lost the man I loved to illness but I didn’t lose him, not really. I still have those precious memories of our first years to look back on. No one can ever take that away from me.’
Harper didn’t bother hiding her own emotions now. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she stepped closer to hug the older woman. Liz’s arms came around her and held her the way a mother would do an adult daughter.
‘If you love my son like that, then you’re the perfect person for him.’
Harper stepped out of the older woman’s embrace and tried to smile, but it fell short of the mark. ‘I want to do the best for Marli but I can’t marry Jack unless he loves me. I just can’t.’
‘And you shouldn’t,’ Liz said. ‘You deserve to be loved—everyone does. I wish I could say Jack might change but I’m reluctant to give you false hope. But he is a good person, a loyal and hardworking man who has sacrificed a lot for his family. You’ve blessed him with a beautiful daughter. Maybe by loving Marli he will learn to open his heart to you.’
‘Maybe...’
Liz gave her another warm hug and then released her and smiled. ‘Let me help you with Marli. I can babysit while you work. I think I might make a better grandmother than I was a mother.’
Harper smiled in return. ‘I would love that. It will be nice for Marli to spend time with you. And it will help me not feel so guilty about letting my business partners down during our busiest season. Marli’s arrival blindsided them as well as me and Jack.’