‘Ruby?’
She turned to look at him, glad he couldn’t see the tears tracking down her cheeks. ‘Yes?’ She was proud of how indifferent she sounded—as if her heartwasn’tbreaking into a thousand and one pieces.
His throat rose and fell over a tight swallow. ‘Thank you for helping me get through a rough time. I’m not sure what I would have done without you...especially with your gran out of action.’
‘That’s okay. I had a good time.’
One side of his mouth curved upwards, but it was a stretch to call it anywhere near a smile. ‘Take care of yourself, won’t you?’
‘You too.’
There was another beat or two of silence so thick it was almost palpable. And then Ruby turned and walked out without looking back. The door shut behind her with a soft thud that sounded eerily like the closing of a book. End of story.
But this one—her one—didn’t have a happy ending.
Lucas let out a breath and let go his iron grip of the chair and flexed his aching knuckles. He should be happy, right? The fling he shouldn’t have had in the first place was over. And all done with cool politeness rather than rancour and ill feelings. Why then did he feel so...so angry? So disappointed?
A heavy weight of disappointment he could not explain was sitting in his chest. He had always intended to end his fling with Ruby. He ended all his flings with lovers. He never gave anyone the opportunity to leave him. He left first. That was one thing he had learned from his parents—the person who left had the most control, and thereby suffered the least hurt. And the one thing he avoided in life was getting hurt. Loving someone gave them the power to hurt you. Why would he allow anyone that sort of power over him? He didn’t. He wouldn’t. He hadn’t.
And yet...
Ruby closing that door had sent a shockwave through his chest, snatching the very air from his lungs. He had intended to continue their fling a little longer. How much longer he couldn’t say. It was unusual for him, but he had never had a clear idea of the timeframe on his fling with Ruby. It had been as blurry and vague as his vision...the end point had always been in the foggy distance.
But it was here. Tonight. Now. A line had been drawn through their relationship as clear as if he had drawn it himself. Ruby would leave Rothwell Park tomorrow and he would never see her again. But then he hadn’t seen her for the duration of their fling. Not clearly—not in detail, not in the way he’d longed to see her.
Was that why he was so angry? Was that why he was bitter, because she had ended it so abruptly? He clenched his hands into fists, furious with himself for wanting her. For needing her. For aching for her spine-tingling touch...
He was a man who didn’t need anyone. He was a man who didn’t get close.
He was still that man. He hadn’t changed.
He was a man who didn’t love.
Ruby ran into her friends on the way back to her room. The last thing she wanted was a post-mortem on her relationship with Lucas, but Harper and Aerin were too observant to miss her reddened eyes. They followed her into her room and closed the door behind them.
‘What’s happened?’ Aerin asked, grasping Ruby by the hand. ‘Have you been crying?’
Ruby brushed at her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘I’ve ended things with Lucas...’ She bit down on her lower lip to stop it from trembling.
‘Oh, Ruby...’ Harper sighed. ‘Maybe it’s for the best, hon. Us Cinderella-types don’t belong in a rich man’s world.’
Aerin handed Ruby a tissue. ‘I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.’
Ruby blew her nose. ‘I’ll be fine. I knew the risks when I got involved with him. He told me from the outset our fling was only temporary. But how can you put a timeframe on your feelings? How do you switch them off like that?’ She snapped her fingers for effect. ‘I think I’ve always loved him.’ She choked back another sob and wiped at her eyes. ‘I’m leaving in the morning. First thing. I don’t want to see Lucas again.’
‘Are you sure you should rush off like that?’ Aerin asked with a concerned frown. ‘What if he changes his mind? He might see things differently in the morning.’
Ruby’s shoulders slumped on a sigh. ‘He won’t see things differently. He’s made up his mind to live his life without needing anyone. And now I’ve ended the fling, because to continue it knowing he’s never going to change would end up hurting me more in the end.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry things have turned out like this,’ Aerin said. ‘But I guess you know him better than anyone else.’
‘I only know what he allows me to know,’ Ruby said. ‘He won’t let me in. I thought he was starting to—telling me stuff about his parents and so on—but when push came to shove, no. He locked me out. He refuses to love anyone. Why did I think he might love me?’
Harper eyed her for a long moment. ‘Did you tell him you loved him?’
Ruby shook her head. ‘No, and that’s one thing I’m immensely grateful for. I couldn’t bear it if I’d gushed over him like I did when I was sixteen. Urgh! Can you imagine how embarrassing that would have been?’
Harper’s expression communicated her staunch approval. ‘You gotta maintain your pride, sister.’