I closed my eyes because that hit unexpectedly hard. “You’re probably right,” I managed to agree.
“I know I am. Call off Marco.”
I made a noncommittal sound and veered us back onto less stressful topics so I could actually eat my lunch. We walked back to the publishing building together and parted ways at the elevators, and I got through the day without obsessing too much about whether or not I’d made the right call to have Marco keep following Bailey and the kids.
In the end, my gut told me that I needed to keep him on the case for a little while longer. I couldn’t take chances with Harrison and Ava’s safety, not even if my heart was screaming at me to trust her. My heart was screaming for a lot more, but I was used to shutting it down.
Chapter 20 - Bailey
I let out a loud grunt as I flipped my self-defense instructor onto the mat. When he landed with a thud, I felt a surge of power, and goosebumps rippled up my arms when the other women in the class applauded my efforts. The class ended shortly after and the instructor gave us all high fives, telling us we were doing great. Next week, we’d learn how to break out of holds.
As I gathered with the other women where we’d left our bags, they called me over to their little huddle and introduced themselves. The three of them were friends already and had decided to take the class after one of them got mugged. She got pissed off, always looking over her shoulder, so they thought this might help. I knew that feeling all too well lately, and when they looked at me expectantly, I felt myself tearing up.
“I’m fine,” I assured them. “It’s just…”
The tears flowed down my cheeks, as I waved my hand toward the mats and the punching dummy. It had felt good getting some energy and aggression out, but it brought up a lot of feelings I barely knew I’d been repressing. To my surprise, they all patted my shoulders, telling me it was completely normal, and I should let it all out.
“Just keep powering through,” one of them said, and I could see in her eyes she understood. “We’re strong, aren’t we?”
They made football player grunting noises, encouraging me to join in until it devolved into helpless laughter. I hadn’t felt so good since the last time Will and I watched our show together. I really missed those evenings alone with him, but knew it was for the best to keep him at arm’s length. He must have been feeling the same, because except for check-ins about the kids and a few times he’d joined us at the park between meetings, I barely saw him.
Being confronted with my pent up fears about Rick at the same time I thought about Will, I realized I had to tell him everything. I started this class because I had a real enemy I needed to defend myself against, but it wasn’t just me who was in danger anymore. I could barely admit it, but I was very close to loving Harrison and Ava, and the thought they might get caught up in my mess made me sick to my very core.
The fact that Rick had already gotten so close to Ava and Harrison and could still be lurking around, figuring out the best possible way to hurt me, solidified my resolve to tell Will everything. That asshole had already threatened my dog to try to control me. If he realized how much I cared about those kids, he wouldn’t hesitate to do something. I couldn’t bear to think about what, and I’d die before I let him attempt anything.
“Would you like to join us for frozen yogurt, Bailey?”
I looked wistfully at the small group of fierce women I desperately wanted to get to know better but shook my head. “I can’t,” I said. “I have something urgent I need to get done. But maybe next week?”
“Definitely next week.”
I was glad I had taken the subway to my lesson instead of the car I used to drive the kids around, because I wanted to walk to clear my head. I wished there was a way I could explain things to Will without making it seem like I had been keeping secrets, but I knew I should have gone to him the day Rick found me again. I tried to hold onto hope that he wouldn’t fire me, but I didn’t really think it was possible. Not unless Rick decided he was done with me, and he’d made it clear he wasn’t. I had managed to save a pretty good amount even in the short time I’d been with Will because of the generous salary he gave me, so I could probably get a place and keep it if I found another job right away.
The heartbreaking thought of the kids having to say goodbye to Freddy made me wonder if Will would let them keep him. He’d only be stuck in a tiny apartment alone while I was out working all day, and they had grown to be really responsible, never forgetting his walks, always checking his water bowl to make sure it didn’t need a refill. Tears stung my eyes at the thought of giving him up, blinding me when I thought about saying my goodbyes to the kids. And I’d never see Will again.
I was so caught up in my misery that I barely noticed the dark sedan screech to a halt next to me, almost popping up onto the sidewalk. Until Rick jumped out from the driver’s side and hauled around to grab me, pinning my arms to my sides. I managed to kick his shin, my sneakers not doing much damage. I screamed, but we were in a fairly quiet side street on a Sunday afternoon so if anyone was around, they were probably being typical New Yorkers and minding their own business. It was up to me to save myself. I clawed at his forearms, but it was no use. If only he’d waited another week I would have learned how to get out of holds.
That stupid thought was the last one I had before he shoved me into the passenger seat and slammed my head forward against the dashboard. I was only out for a few moments, but it was long enough, because when I blinked away my confusion, we were weaving through traffic, heading toward the Brooklyn Bridge. My forehead throbbed, and I felt something warm trickling down the side of my face. Trying to pretend I was still out, I glanced over at Rick. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles were white and the veins in his forearms bulged. He was grinding his jaw the way he did when he was especially pissed off about something. He realized I was awake and turned to me with a snarl. I recoiled, never seeing him so angry, and I’d seen him plenty angry before.
“Let me out,” I said, aiming to sound as strong as I felt in the self-defense class and missing the mark by a mile.
“Shut up and be good.” He reached over and knocked my head into the side window and a shimmer of stars clouded my vision.
I blinked them away and carefully opened the door a crack, feeling sick when I saw the asphalt speeding away below me. Was I really going to jump out of a moving car? Yes, I was, because anything would be better than what Rick had in store for me when we got wherever we were going.
I tipped sideways, hoping it didn’t hurt too badly, but he noticed when I pushed the door open a bit more. He grabbed my arm and yanked me back, swerving sharply so the door shut itself again. The car behind us blared its horn, and I only wished it would crash into us.
“I swear to God, if you jump out, I’m going to stop and back over your worthless carcass.”
He kept one hand clamped hard around my wrist and jerked back into his lane, getting another honk. He flipped off the other driver in his rearview mirror. God, I hated him. Up until that moment, I’d only hated myself for falling for his lies, but now that ugly emotion was aimed squarely where it belonged.
“Why don’t you leave me alone if I’m so worthless,” I said, imagining myself grabbing the back of his head and slamming it into the steering wheel. Was I strong enough to knock him out? I didn’t really want to cause a multi car collision, and sat there, shaking and praying for a miracle.
“One man's trash is another man’s treasure, isn’t that what they say?” he asked me with a leer.
I didn’t want to contemplate what he meant by that, but my tremors increased. He dropped my arm and swore, looking behind us with a panicked expression on his mean face. I turned, hoping the person he’d flipped off had a sawed off shotgun, but it was even better. Blue lights flashed a few cars behind us, then a siren blared and the police car got right up on our tail as the other cars moved out of its way. A metallic sounding voice came over a loudspeaker and told him to pull over.
“Don’t say a damn word,” he said, swearing again and swiping at my face. His hand came away with blood on it, which he wiped on his dark jeans. He pulled over and waited, grinding his teeth so hard I could hear it over the traffic sounds.