I flipped through the pictures in the file, which were all basically the same shots of Bailey and the kids and the dog, out and about, enjoying themselves. Some of them were of her sitting alone in the car or on benches, reading while she waited for Harrison and Ava to be done with their activities. I felt a smile creeping over my face at one particular one with her holding Ava like a sack of potatoes under her arm, Harrison walking backwards ahead of them and holding onto the dog’s leash. They all looked like they were in the middle of cracking up over a hilarious joke and I longed to be part of that scene. I wanted to frame it and put it in the living room, but of course I couldn’t.
“I told you it was nonsense to suspect Bailey of anything shady,” Eli said, knocking me out of my trance.
I looked up and nodded, feeling relief that I was wrong, then of course, guilt over calling in Marco in the first place.
“It’s only been a week,” Marco said. “We still don’t have an explanation for what happened at the play park.”
“There might not have been an explanation,” Eli said, huffing with exasperation.
“What do you want me to do, Will?” Marco asked, ignoring Eli.
I ignored him too, even though I felt him glaring at me. “Stay on them,” I said.
With a tight nod, he stood up, thrusting out his hand for both of us to shake in his old-school manner. I asked him if he didn’t want to join us for lunch.
“Nope, got work to do. See you boys later.”
I managed to keep ignoring Eli’s glare until after we ordered our meals, then I raised my hands in a motion of surrender. “What do you want me to do?” I asked. “I have to keep the kids safe.”
“From Bailey?” he asked incredulously. “All this because some loser she used to know said hello to her and then some creep hit on her in the park?”
“It was a lot more than that.” I told him how Harrison had heard her crying and the thought of her being that upset made my hands curl into fists all over again.
Eli remained silent when the server dropped off our salads, then stabbed a forkful of arugula and pointed it at me. “Listen, man, I saw how you acted around her when we were together at Coney Island.”
“How did I act?” I asked.
“Smitten. And I get it, she’s great with Ava and Harrison. You know Violet gets close to a panic attack every time we go somewhere out in public with you guys, but now she feels confident enough to keep asking me to meet all of you more often.”
I grimaced, not offended to learn Violet felt that way. I didn’t blame her, recalling the last time we tried going to a cartoon movie premiere with them. I had to leave after the opening scene with a screaming and kicking Ava, while Eli came out a few minutes later with Harrison, escorted by an angry usher who was drenched in Harrison’s soda and had popcorn clinging to his hair. Violet slunk out behind them with her head down, looking like she might cry. On her own, for short periods of time, Violet could get the kids to mind, but I could tell she was always exhausted after spending an afternoon with them. On the other hand, Bailey was effortless with them. So, yeah, I probably acted a little smitten. He didn’t need to know that I was definitely well past that point.
“I think you’re mistaking how grateful I am that she’s so good with them,” I said.
He rolled his eyes at my weak argument. “No, it’s more than that. It’s still early days. The kids could turn at any moment. I never saw you look at any of the other nannies like that and not all of them were beaten down straight out of the gate, either.” He took a bite, looking at me thoughtfully. “Can I be very honest with you?”
“Can I stop you?” I asked. I pushed my own salad around on the plate, not wanting to hear what he considered his vast wisdom.
“It’s not just the way you look at her. You guys interacted like you were a well-oiled machine. You practically finished each other’s sentences. And she looks at you like you’re some kind of god.”
“She does?” I couldn’t keep myself from asking.
“It’s actually kind of sickening.”
“Oh please,” I said. “Like Violet isn’t almost always in your lap.”
He looked triumphant. “Ah, but Violet is my fiancée.”
“Fuck off,” I said, making him look even more triumphant. It was our dad’s old decree that if one of us devolved into swearing, we’d lost the argument. I only wanted the argument to end.
His self-righteous face turned serious. “I hesitate to say this, Will, but I haven’t seen you act like this around anyone since Callie.”
He waited for me to flinch or lash out, but I was tired. I wanted to share the burden I’d been carrying. “We slept together when we were down in Mexico,” I confessed, keeping my eyes on a black olive in my uneaten salad. “Just once. We agreed it was a mistake.”
Shockingly, he didn’t crow about my lack of self-restraint. “But you can’t stop thinking about her? And now you’re trying to find something wrong with her so you can fire her and protect your heart?”
That was when I flinched. Was that what I was doing? “No way, I don’t want to lose her as a nanny.”
“So why is Marco still following her? You better call him off because if she finds out you’re going to lose the best thing that’s happened to you and the kids since before the accident. Women get hassled, sadly. Even in private parks. You’re reading too much into it.” He put his fork down and looked at me like he was the older brother. “It’s okay to want to be happy again.”