I pushed through the swinging door, my heart pumping from Cole’s words. If it wasn’t a good idea, I might find something I shouldn’t. Or someone.
The bathroom door next to Rome’s office was cracked, but I heard rustling and the water running. I pushed it farther open.
The blood on his hands turned the water red as he washed them. The white porcelain sink blurred with the pink and red ribbons of someone else’s life.
“Rome,” I whispered.
He jumped, the muscles in his back rippling as he tensed. His dark head of hair was dripping wet, and as it shot up, droplets of water sprayed everywhere. Those black eyes solidified to a stone-cold stare when he looked at me through the mirror. “Why are you back here?”
“I had to pee. It’s not like I don’t come back—”
“Get out!” He delivered the command as swiftly as a sword slicing its enemy down.
I stood my ground. We still weren’t friends. We were barely acquaintances at this point. He’d ignored me too many times for that and had acted as though I didn’t exist for the past couple of weeks. And in those weeks, I’d almost slept with another man, one I knew could keep me content. Yet I still wanted only Rome.
“Katalina, you need to leave.” His voice rumbled out low in warning.
I should have left like he asked me to. If he didn’t care about me, didn’t want me here, I shouldn’t have cared either.
But I knew him. I knew his touch, the way his breath shook when he was with me, the way his mouth felt against mine. I knew the man under the monster.
More than anything, I knew the emptiness in his eyes. It was the same look that had marred my face over the years, time and time again.
I crossed my arms. “That’s not just someone else’s blood on your hands. Your face is bleeding.”
He sighed and ducked his face down to splash some more water over it. “Get the fuck out of here, Katalina.”
I leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom for support as my full name rolled from his pillowy lips. I missed hearing his voice, missed hearing him command me. “Does the other guy look just as bad?”
I got no answer from him. The silence ping-ponged around us, ricocheting off our tension and unanswered questions. Rome wanted me to leave.
Instead, I lightened my tone. “To be honest, I might act out and fuck up one of your customers tonight. They’re out of control. I just had to threaten a guy. So I’m thinking I need a good fight story.” I smiled at my own joke, trying to lighten the mood. “Please tell me you killed the other guy.”
He whipped around to face me. His black eyes pulled me in and tried to swallow me in their hollowness. “I did.”
Those two words—he said them so seriously, goose bumps popped up over my skin. “What?”
“Don’t ask a question if you aren’t prepared for the answer.”
“Rome, seriously? You can’t . . . Bastian didn’t say anything about kills in the past few days. If you’re not following the rules . . . Bastian doesn’t want anyone acting outside of his control.”
“You still staying with him, then?” The first real emotion from him was the pain as his voice cracked with the question. It hurt me just as much as him.
“What does Bastian really have to do with any of this? You know it’s all for—” I stopped. If it were all for show, I wouldn’t have kissed Bastian. But Rome hadn’t called; he hadn’t even asked about me. He’d left me to the mob without a backward glance, even knowing I’d had my head bashed in, even knowing people were out there looking for me.
“It has everything to do with it, Katalina. You know what the family is out there doing?”
“Rome.” I glanced toward the ceiling, my heart wanting to break. “They don’t tell me everything. So I don’t get to ask those types of questions.”
“You better start. And you better be prepared for the answer.”
I combed a hand through my waves as I took in his words, the way his body vibrated with a rage that was barely contained. “Are you okay?”
He crowded me against the door, looked me up and down. “Bastian’s world isn’t the one you want—”
“And it’s the one you do? You’re in just as deep as me.” I grabbed the gray shirt that had splatters of blood staining it. “How are you ever going to explain this? How are you going to come back from taking lives when Bastian isn’t giving you permission? He’s the head of the family now, Rome. Him! Not you.”
He looked away, and the breath he took in was labored, like a wounded animal struggling for life. I felt him crumbling, felt the world taking him down, felt his pain.