Those words would have had me drunk on the idea that I had the power over a man just a few weeks back. Yet, Rome had mixed me all up, made me think it wasn’t just about the power and the control. And Bastian hugged me like I was something more than just the bait, more than just the tool the family utilized.
I was starting to want more, feel more, be more. Of what? I didn’t know.
“I’m not sure I know what I want, Bast. But I have to figure it out before we go any further.”
He nodded and backed away, holding me at arm’s length. “We’ll be okay, huh? Let’s just get
through the next few weeks.”
He’d respected me, made it so easy and safe that I wondered if I should regret my decision.
To have lost so much of my innocence that I questioned protecting my mental health made me wonder what life would have been like had I attached myself to men like Bastian early on.
He left me that night feeling weighed down by a new burden of hope, hope for the future and fear that we wouldn’t be able to achieve it.
15
Katie
We walked around each other on eggshells for a few days after that. He didn’t try anything again. When he left me a couple of days later, he told me to take an SUV out if I needed to, to be careful about where I went.
He was trusting me and giving me space when he shouldn’t have.
I tried to steer my mind to the fact that Bastian was here for me, wanted me, and that he trusted me to take control where I wanted to.
Still, my mind veered off course and found its way to the man who didn’t want anything to do with me. Rome hadn’t called, hadn’t texted, hadn’t come to visit Bastian in an effort to see me. He’d avoided everything we were, and now I wondered if it was because he was as broken as me. He’d lost his father by his own hands. The one person he should have been able to rely on made Rome exercise the monster in him in the most brutal way. He protected the family by taking his dad’s life.
When I got to Heathen’s Bar, the host greeted me with a smile and waved me in. Every heathen that worked there had a mouthwatering look, and the host didn’t disappoint. His top bun was thick and his smile bright and white. Then there was Cole, who stood behind the bar in a tight T-shirt that showed off his muscles and his dimples were overkill.
“Is it too early for a drink?” I sat down on a stool and put my chin in my hand as I winked at him.
“Never too early for you, Katie. You’re one girl I’m sure needs all the drinks she can get.”
A patron who had been there much too long burped and swung his head my way. “What’s that supposed to mean? You doing something I want to get into?” He waggled his eyebrows at me.
I rolled my eyes and didn’t answer him. “Just get me a Sprite, Cole.”
Cole stared down the guy who decided to get up from his stool and walk over to me. He wobbled on his way, and when he got within three feet, I could smell the whiskey.
“Cole, get me my Sprite,” I told him pointedly. I could take care of a drunk and didn’t need Cole getting into any type of trouble before the night even began. Bars were magnets for enough drama that I felt obligated to help out the bar manager every once in a while, especially since Cole was a papa bear on steroids for most everyone. He managed Rome’s bar with precision and heart, making sure his employees and patrons always felt safe, while weeding out customers that caused the opposite quickly.
Cole filled up a glass just as the guy whispered something to me about going back to his place.
“I think you need to go home and sleep off the alcohol, buddy. You don’t want a Heathen to kick you out of here for bothering me, do you?”
“I’m not bothering you, sweet thing.”
I sighed and spun on my stool to glare at him. As I did, I lifted my loose dark shirt that covered the waist band of my jean shorts. My knife sat there, wedged in a case. When he looked, his eyes widened. I said quietly, “Leave before we have a problem. For the sake of the bar, huh?”
He stumbled back with his hands raised and then ran out.
Cole was laughing when I turned back around in my seat to face him and grab my Sprite.
“Do I want to know what just happened?” he said, his voice full of mirth.
“Nope. I need to go to the bathroom.” I slid off the chair and headed to the employee hallway.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I think—”