What I want is freedom but I’ll never get it here. Luca is trying to help them find me a husband. They want me married off.
I load Red Dwarf on my cellphone and try to zone out. I don’t want to think about any of this anymore.
I find my mind drifting back to last night. I lost my virginity and it made no difference whatsoever. I lost it to a complete stranger. Something about what they said in the van comes back to me. What was it? I can’t remember but I know it’s important. Damn it. Maybe it will come when I’m asleep. My mind often works like that.
I think about my life instead. Servants who won’t talk to me. A family who only want me for what I can give them. A cousin who’s now trapped in Italy because of me. Will she ever forgive me?
All I have in the world are my two dogs. That and the candy bar I’m unwrapping. I could cry but what would be the point?
The part that sucks the most is knowing that I’m not getting out of this. There is no other option but to accept that this is my life. I’m in the stables for the night and what can I do about it? Nothing.
There are guards on the gate now. I checked earlier. No more punching in a code and sneaking out. My car’s been collected and when I looked in the garage, the wheels have been removed. I’ve no hope of getting out of here again.
I’ll just have to live on the memory of last night. One night of happiness before a lifetime of misery. Is that all life is?
I pull the blankets over me and lay on my side, my arm under my head, the cellphone propped up on the power-bank. The screen is small but I can make out what’s happening. I can almost convince myself that I’m here out of choice. That I live alone. I can’t hear anyone talking out there anymore.
I’m on the cusp of sleep an hour later when the stable door opens and Luca walks in. “What do you want?” I ask him.
He grins at me as he walks over. “In the bad books again?” he asks, kicking straw at me.
“I said, what do you want?”
“Just came to tell you that we’re getting rid of Mario and Luigi tomorrow.”
“You’re what?”
“Don’t try and do anything. It’s been decided.” He’s still grinning at me.
“You’re happy about this, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am. Slobbery little bastards, the pair of them. Shitting on the lawn and getting hair everywhere. It’s your fault anyway. If you hadn’t defied father, he wouldn’t have to punish your actions by getting rid of them. I’m grateful to you. I hate the little shitheads.”
“Where are they going?”
He puts a finger to the side of his head and mimes shooting a gun. “Splatterfest tomorrow.”
“Get out, Luca.”
“Thought you’d want to know,” he says over his shoulder, almost skipping out of the stables.
That’s when I make a decision that changes the entire course of my life. I decide that as soon as the family is asleep, I’m going to go and rescue Mario and Luigi. I’m going to take them and leave here. I don’t care how. I’ll find a way. I won’t let them be killed.
That decision is the reason I don’t die in the ensuing bloodbath that wipes out my entire family.
Twelve
Nico
* * *
Matteo has outdone himself. He’s got the helicopter ready to go. I have a crew in front of me in the tack room, all of them experienced in this kind of operation.
I know all three of them. David has been on several jobs with me over the years. He’s five years younger than me though he looks a lot older. He’s busily applying paint to his face ready for tonight.
Next to him is Ricky who I went to school with. He’s never let me down in a scrape.
Finally, there’s Andy, the only one with actual military experience. He’s been a merc outside the family for the last few years but when Matteo called him, he got here inside two hours. He’s going to fly the chopper.