“I get it, baby. I was an asshole. I didn’t consider your feelings because I hated you. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t want him to get worked up about this, but it was too late.
“You don’t need to apologize. I invaded your life. I’m not angry. I don’t feel betrayed.”
“Then what? You don’t ever want to go to the club? It’s my home. They’re my brothers. My family.”
This conversation was spiraling out of control, fast. “You say it like I’m throwing a wrench in your plans.”
“Because you are. I’ve already imagined you living there with me. I can see you hanging out with Maddy, Sugar, Tina, and Roja.”
“And Libby, Misty… Who else? All the other kittens you’ve screwed.”
“Fuck.” He squeezed his eyes shut.
I pressed my hand to his face to comfort him. I didn’t want to hurt him. But had he even considered what I wanted? How I’d feel being around those women? It didn’t appear having the kittens around bothered the old ladies. I bet none of them had a history with their guys like I had with mine. It wasn’t like I just met Zach for the first time.
He was my first love.
My only love.
I didn’t want the women he’d been with purring around him. I might claw out their eyes.
“Zach, we’ve been through a lot the last twenty-four hours. This isn’t the right time to have this talk. We haven’t even mourned Jill.”
He opened his eyes. “I know, baby.” He rubbed my back. “Losing Jill has made me want to hold onto you with a death grip.”
I pressed my lips to his. “I don’t want to be apart from you. Not anymore. All I’m saying is I don’t have it in me to endure seeing all the women you’ve been with every day.” I wiped my nose, getting emotional. “You were supposed to be mine and only mine.”
He wrapped his arms around me, burying his face in my neck. His heart raced against my chest, holding me like he was afraid to let go. Afraid I might vanish.
I hugged him back, terrified everything would fall apart once we returned to Minnesota.
I wanted to enjoy our little piece of heaven in this creepy motel before it evaporated.
27
Boxer
I paced the room as Storm told me about the shitstorm going on back home. I hadn’t heard from him in two days. Aspen and I stayed holed up in the room of a new motel each day. This one had the shower hidden from sight, so I couldn’t watch her scrub her body while I called Prez for an update. I gotta say, I missed seeing her naked under the showerhead.
We’d been terrific after our talk the other day. I’d run out for food a couple of times, took her for a drive, and then we’d spend the evenings watching movies. Have an all-night make-out session, exploring each other. We’d laugh about the olden days, and shed a few tears talking about Jill.
Overall, I never wanted this to end. I wanted it to only be Aspen and me against the world, the way we used to dream about. I’d have some difficult decisions to make sooner than I wanted.
“The son of a bitch is getting bolder. He and his goons aren’t hiding. I want him gone yesterday!” Storm’s voice boomed.
“I’ll come back and help. I can’t wait to chop the motherfucker into pieces.” I kept my voice low, so Aspen didn’t hear me. Knowing how she felt about going back, I didn’t want to upset her.
“What about your woman?”
“Glad you recognized she’s mine.”
“Always knew she was, brother. Didn’t mean I liked it after she hurt you.”
I scratched my beard, feeling agitated. “And now you know Jill is responsible for keeping us apart.” I hated putting this on Jill, but it was the truth.
Storm sighed. “Wolf told me about the blow-up before Baldie arrived. Don’t worry, I won’t be a dick to her.”