“Can I get you something to drink?” Jill startled me out of my thoughts. She served herself a cup of coffee, eyeing me.
“No thanks. I’m good.” If she was a mind reader, I’d be horrified. I couldn’t function. My brain felt like it was short-circuiting. Heck no, I didn’t know what I wanted. My heart rate hadn’t even normalized after that encounter with Zach. I was so stinking flustered and panicked.
Was it too early for whiskey?
“Well, have a seat and eat.” She pointed to an empty chair at the table.
I took my plate and joined her, keeping my eyes on my food to avoid Zach. His spicy musk captured my attention.
Don’t inhale it. Breathe through your mouth.
After a decade, shouldn’t we behave like strangers? Considering I hated him and had vowed to never see him again, these familiar tingles in my body didn’t fit.
Maybe it was because Zach looked nothing like before. He was a rugged man with broader shoulders, a strong, chiseled jaw, and a deep, gravelly voice. Not to mention his stupidly perfect six-pack abs and sexy-as-fuck beard.
Gone was the youthful, cocky teen. He had a severe and sinful aura to go along with his godlike physique. Perhaps that was the biker in Zach… inBoxer.
The day we’d first met, I’d forced myself to not pay attention to him. It would’ve been wrong to crush on my new bestie’s brother. But the following week at school, Zach “bumped into us” during lunch every day. Then he’d walk us home after school. Before I knew it, he asked if he could call me.
Zach hadn’t been one to take his time. If his sights were on something or someone, he went after it. Nothing held him back. So, of course, he’d asked me out during our first phone call. I’d gotten Jill’s blessing before saying yes. After our first date, we were inseparable. For the next two years, we were totally in love.
Then it ended.
19
Boxer
This couldn’t be happening.
In a brief exchange, Aspen had set me on fire all over again. When she crashed into my chest, I’d managed to hide my morning wood with a T-shirt. She’d fucking startled me. I was about to jerk off to her. Instead of doing it in the bed she’d sleep in later, I’d grabbed my shirt to catch my cum.
See? I could be decent.
Goddamn, having her soft hands on my skin made me ache. I was surprised when she didn’t run out of the bedroom. She could have easily turned around and bolted.
But she didn’t.
She stayed, like she couldn’t tear herself away from me.
And it totally screwed with my head and dick. I should’ve had sex with Libby before I left, but I couldn’t. I hadn’t been with her since the night Aspen arrived. Not even after the fight when she unzipped my jeans, asking if I wanted her. I’d said yes, thinkingwhy the fuck not?The second her hand touched me, I’d frozen, rearing away from her like I’d been struck by lightning. It fucking felt like I was about to betray Aspen. Crazy, totally crazy shit. I had absolutely no reason to deny myself. I was a free man.
At this moment, I understood why. Even though I’d hated Aspen for so long, I never stopped loving her. It didn’t matter that she broke my heart. Didn’t matter if we were apart or with other people. We never forgot our first love.
We never stopped loving them.
Since she’d been back in my life, I felt weak. The pull to her was powerful, like before. I didn’t want to feel this way. I didn’t want to want her.
Was there a way to stop these feelings?
Was that really what I wanted?
I savored the last bite of pancake, unsure of what to do about my ex. Jeez, she even cooked a ton of delicious food for all of us. I couldn’t believe how good it was. Before, she used to burn everything.
I wasn’t sure why I was surprised. Aspen had grown up, just as I had. At some point in her life, she’d learned to cook. What else could she do that I didn’t know about? I’d missed out on everything with her. Didn’t experience all the things we’d talked about.
My chest ached for all I’d lost. Aspen wasn’t the same person I’d loved. She wasn’t my Snow.
And yet, I was still drawn to her.