Since when did bad boys, manwhores, comfort a crying woman? He wasn’t the type of man to do tender, yet he had shown me tenderness the last couple of days. Guilt burned in my chest for calling him a manwhore. He might have had sex with dozens or even hundreds of women, but I cared about Nik. I liked him a lot for reasons unbeknown to me. What I felt went beyond his looks. I felt a connection between us, like he could see into my soul and, for whatever reason, we were linked. And that meant he could shatter me.
“No. I need… I need to be…”
“What do you need, baby?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, letting tears stream down my face. His voice was laced with concern. I imagined his handsome face pressed against the door. “I need to be alone.”
“Fuck no! You need me!” He banged on the door. “Goddammit, open up!”
“I don’t need anyone! Just leave me alone. I. Don’t. Need. You.” I was losing it and ruining our trip. Ruining what we only just started days ago. God, I hated myself for not keeping my distance from him. How could I be so stupid to think my past would fade away? That I could be in a real relationship? I was dirty and scarred. I only had casual sex and not often because I didn’t trust men.
Shit, shit, shit!
I backed up against the wall and slid down it to sit on the floor. I tugged a towel off the bar and covered my naked self, then buried my face in my hands, bracing for Nik’s backlash.
If we ended what we started, it would be painful—especially when Nik brought women home—but I needed to let him go. He didn’t need to deal with my drama or issues.
God, I would miss him though. I quietly sobbed so he wouldn’t hear me.
Several minutes passed. I couldn’t hear Nik. Maybe he left, tired of my shit. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. It would be for the best.
Nik was better off without me
14
Nik
I NUMBLY SAT on the edge of the bed, facing the bathroom door. A cocktail of emotions ran through my veins: anger, confusion, sadness. Rita didn’t want me. She said she didn’t need me. Not that it should surprise me. She was an independent woman. She never cowered away and had challenged the fuck out of me.
But she rejected me. I wasn’t what she needed or wanted. Once again, I wasn’t good enough. Fuck, it hurt too.
I dragged my hand across my cheek, eyeing the door. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn’t leave her here and go home. It would be a dick move to make her find her own way home since I’d brought her on my bike.
I guessed I’d just wait. Eventually, Rita would come out, right?
Fuck if I knew.
I dug a pair of boxers out of my bag and slipped them on. I hadn’t been asleep that long, forty minutes maybe. I felt like a chump for not noticing her crying sooner. I was just out of it, thoroughly at peace with her in my arms.
Nice going, Nik.
It killed me to not know what had her so unraveled and sobbing. The muscles in my neck and shoulders coiled as a protectiveness appeared, the likes of which I’d never felt before. If someone hurt Rita, I’d rip them to shreds with my bare hands.
I stared at the door. She was eerily quiet, but I could still sense her inside. She was okay. I just needed to wait.
And so I waited and waited. After a little more than an hour, the click of the lock had me on my feet. Rita appeared wrapped in a towel. Her beautiful hazel-green eyes were swollen and red. I was afraid to approach her, fearful I might scare her off.
“Oh, you’re still here.”
I furrowed my brow. “Where else would I be?”
She shrugged her shoulder, still standing in the doorway. “Just thought you left when I didn’t hear any noises.” She bit her bottom lip. “I need my clothes.” She pointed at her backpack.
“Then get them.”
She hesitated before padding past me to the chair where she’d placed her bag. Was she afraid of me? Rita snatched the bag and returned to the bathroom seconds later, then locked the door behind her.
Son of a bitch!