After half an hour, I was ready to break the door down. I needed to do something. The room felt like the walls were closing in while Rita stayed in the bathroom. I hated being separated from her, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. That, more than anything else, pissed me off.
I put on some clothes and boots, wishing I had a beer or tequila. Shit, even a cigarette would help take the edge off. I fidgeted with my fingers, thinking about the joint I had in my wallet. I shook the idea of lighting it out of my head. Instead, I got to my feet and paced.
The one time I made an effort to take a woman somewhere other than a dumpy motel that charged by the hour, it fell apart. This was why I didn’t do relationships, why my heart had been as hard as steel. But fucking Rita had broken through.
I stopped at the bathroom door and touched it. If I didn’t do something, I might go insane with worry. Eventually, anger would replace my concern, which I needed to avoid.
I lightly tapped my knuckles on the wood so I wouldn’t scare her.
“Rita? I’m going to step out for a little bit. Do you want anything? I’ll stop by the liquor store we saw up the street.” I waited for a reply. When I didn’t get one, I knocked again. “Rita?”
“No. I’m good.”
Fuck. She wasn’t okay. She didn’t fool me.
“Call me if you change your mind.”
I didn’t want to leave her, but I needed air to clear my head. I drove around for a while, but not even being on my Harley made me feel better. I was twisted up over Rita. If she didn’t want me, I’d let her go. I would never beg a woman to stay like I had when my mom left. I once thought I was meant to be alone. I could be a coldhearted bastard, not giving a shit about anyone else but myself. Then Rita warmed my soul and revived my cold, dead heart.
Fuck, I hated the fear I felt of never being with her again. Never kissing or touching her. Why would the universe bring her into my life and then rip her out of it?
I should just leave her a wad of cash and she can call an Uber or some shit like that to take her home. If she didn’t want me, fine. Good riddance. I’d go right out to the desert, find me someone to fuck and forget about Rita fucking Rocha. I could sell Nana’s house and move. Then I wouldn’t have to see the woman who’d stolen my heart like a thief in the night.
I roared, hating the thoughts permeating my head. For once in my life, I thought I’d found something good, and dammit, Rita was fucking amazing. She made me want to be better, deserving of her. Whatever shit was going on with her, I needed to fix it. At least understand what made her fall apart. I wanted to help her, make the hurt go away.
Shit, I never wanted to do that for anyone before. I spied the liquor store and pulled into the parking lot. I didn’t waste time grabbing a bottle of tequila, orange juice, and grenadine. I took a couple of minutes to puff on a joint in the alley to help calm my nerves.
Once calmer, I stopped at a little market. I grabbed some snacks and a cheap bouquet of flowers. Before I made my way back to the hotel, I ordered a pizza to have it delivered. I was sure Rita wasn’t going to want to go to a restaurant tonight, which was okay with me.
I just hoped she’d come out of the fucking bathroom.
And let me hold her.
I checked my phone to see if she’d texted. She hadn’t. I’d been gone over an hour already. It was longer than I’d intended, so I rushed back to the hotel. I didn’t want her thinking I was never coming back. There was nothing worse than feeling abandoned.
The last thing I expected was to see her sitting on the bed, propped up against the headboard. I carried in the stuff I got and set them on the table in the corner. She didn’t look at me as I spread out the goodies I bought.
“Need a shot, baby?” I held up the tequila.
She nodded, keeping her eyes downcast.
I poured the equivalent of two shots for both of us in glasses the hotel provided. I took them over to Rita’s side of the bed and held a cup out. She removed it from my hand. Again, no eye contact.
I sighed and turned away.
Rita grabbed my hand. The small gesture put my mind at ease—a little. “I’m sorry for ruining today.” Her eyes lifted, connecting to mine. They were filled with unshed tears. “I’m ready to talk if you want.”
I set my cup on the nightstand and sat next to her, cradling her pretty face in my hands. “I want to talk. I want to do whatever you want.”
“Anything?”
I stroked my thumbs over her soft cheeks. “Anything.”
“Well, maybe you should hear what I have to say before you decide.”
What the fuck did that mean?
She downed her drink and I did the same, suddenly feeling anxious. I stayed beside her with my hand now holding hers.