“What? You think we should just cut all these people?”
“No,” he said. “Of course not. That would be very impolite.” He leaned in and whispered, “We go around the corner and sneak in through the back. Jeremy lets me do it all the time.”
I gave him a look. “That really doesn’t sound like something Jeremy would let you do.”
“Would you just trust me?”
He took off down the block and I had no choice but to follow him. Around the corner, we turned into an alleyway and then slipped inside the restaurant through the kitchen door, which had been propped open with a brick so the cooks didn’t get too overheated inside. When we walked in, I spotted Jeremy right away, but he wasn’t looking in our direction. He was standing at the stove, stirring the contents of three different pots, and shouting orders over his shoulder to his sous chef. After a few chaotic seconds, during which I realized Ezra and I were definitely not supposed to be back there, Jeremy looked over and saw us. He let out a heavy sigh, took off his apron, and told his underling to take over for him.
“What the hell are you guys doing back here?” he asked, steering us both out of the kitchen and into the main dining area. “I thought I told you to come afterthe morning rush. And I don’t recall telling you to just come around back into the kitchen!”
“Ezra said it was okay.”
Jeremy laughed. “Ezra also thinks it’s okay to throw parties on other people’s yachts. Why would you ever listen to a word Ezra had to say about anything?”
“In my defense,” Ezra said. “I am really hungry and that line was super long, and as a general rule, I don’t wait in line—”
“I’ve had it with your general rules,” said Jeremy. “Now, you two are lucky I’m in a good mood, otherwise I’d just throw you out of here. But that’s not what’s going to happen. Instead, I’m going to give you this booth here in the back, the one next to the bathrooms that we usually don’t sit people at, and you can wait for your food like everyone else.”
“Do you have time to sit with us?” I asked as Ezra and I took our seats and unfolded our napkins.
“Maybe in a bit,” said Jeremy. “Right now, I have to get back to the kitchen.” He disappeared down the nearest hallway and then it was just me and Ezra.
“Now then,” Ezra said with a smile. “What is it that you wanted to talk about?”
“Who said I wanted to talk about something?”
He smirked. “Matt—you don’t text Jeremy and me to hang out unless there’s something you need to talk about. Hell, usually you don’t text us at all, which makes me think there’s one of two things going on: one, you tried to call David and Adam first and they were unavailable, or what you have to say is so important that you had to come talk to Jeremy and me in person. Oh shoot, did someone die?”
“No, nobody died,” I said. I looked down at my lap. “But you’re right. I tried David and Adam first. They’re busy.”
“I knew it.”
“It’s nothing personal,” I went on to say. “It’s just that…” I trailed off.
“Just that you and I don’t talk much,” he said. “I get it. But look, now’s our chance! Let’s do some brotherly bonding, yeah? Tell me what’s been going on in your life? What’s gotten you so shook up that you had to subject yourself tomycompany?”
“It’s nothing really.”
“Tell me anyway.”
I sighed. “Do you remember Will’s nanny? Stephanie? I think you met her at the dinner party a couple weeks back.”
“Yeah, I remember her. She’s sweet. And a total babe.”
“Right. Well. Something happened between us, and then we said we wouldn’t let it happen again, but then we let it happen again, and I thought she and I had an agreement but it turns out we had totally misunderstood each other. Anyway, long story short, she’s pissed at me, I’m still pretty mad at her, and I have no idea how to fix it. But I have to fix it, somehow, or else there’s going to be this unending tension throughout my entire house all the time, and I will lose my mind!”
“Okay.” He nodded his head. “Alright. I think you’ve come to the right place. I’ve had many an awkward run-in with an old hook-up, and I’m basically an expert in diffusing tension. But before I advise you my friend, I’m going to need to know all the details. When did this start? Why did you guys stop and then start up again? What’s she like in bed, that sort of thing.”
“Don’t be a creep,” I said.
He laughed. “Fine. Forget the last part, but I do need to know the other stuff. It’s going to help me formulate a plan to set this all right again.”
I groaned, but acquiesced and told him the whole story. Starting with Hawaii and leading all the way up to the events of last night. “And then she just freaked out on me!” I said at the end. “She was clearly very offended that I was going to go out with another girl, and that’s when I found out that she was under the impression that we had started a relationship or something. I set her straight, but probably not in the nicest of ways, and she stormed off. I didn’t see her again last night or this morning.”
Ezra frowned and tapped his chin in contemplation. “Hmmm.”
“What?”