Her expression drops. “But?”
“But,” I say pointedly while dropping my head into her cleavage. “But it’s not an option, Liya.”
“What about your art?”
My eyes pop open. “What?”
“Viktoria told me you love to draw. I bet you love doing other things too. I bet you have all kinds of hobbies. Soccer, basketball—Fuck, I bet you’re the kind of guy who likes air hockey.”
I roll my eyes. “Not my style.”
“You get what I mean. Don’t you want to do that in your spare time instead of…?” She waves her hand in circles. “Instead of popping kneecaps and executing people?”
“It’s never truly occurred to me.”
She frowns. “Until now.”
“It’s impossible,Lisichka. Think about how much we both know.”
Logic returns as hope fades. She gets it.
I hate that I have to burst her bubble.
“I’ve made too many connections,” I explain in a low voice. “Friends and enemies alike.”
She turns away. “And you’re stuck.”
“They would hunt me down if I left. You included.”
The way her chest heaves indicates another round of tears. But instead of sobbing, she slowly untangles herself from me and disappears to the bathroom.
Hope was there for a moment. It felt good to cradle it in my hands.
But reality can’t be disregarded. We’re deeply entrenched in a war that needs our full attention. The fantasy of taking off with Liya is merely that—a fantasy.
What we need now more than ever is to stay strong and face our battles.
We need all the strength we can get.
When Liya returns, she crawls with sluggish movements onto the bed. She laces her limbs with mine and nuzzles into my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “You deserve peace, Liya.”
“We could have it if we tried.”
I sigh. “I know this isn’t the answer you wanted to hear and that it’s a harsh reality, but it’s the truth.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’d rather tell you a painful truth than a deadly lie.”
“I know.”
Her warm lips trail my chest. She rises to meet me, hungrily colliding into me like I’m the last thing around that’s going to keep her sated. And part of me understands that I am. This is our desert, and we’re going to boil ourselves alive out here.
Ifwe were alone. But we’re not.
Slowly, my attention fades. Liya relaxes into my side with her arm secure around my waist. The sureness of her touch and the way she wraps one leg around my thighs warms my heart.
She said so herself two days ago, and I can feel it now.
She trusts me.