“I’m not,” she says before I have a chance to say more, and whatever words I was planning to say next die in my throat.
“I can’t go back to how things were before, and I don’t want to.I...”She stops, her chest rising and falling faster like she’s working up the nerve to say whatever it is she wants to say, and I brace myself for the blow I know is coming.I try to remind myself that you can’t really lose someone you never had, but it doesn’t make the pain lancing through my chest any more tolerable.
“I’ve been afraid to let go of Robbie and make room for someone else.It’s what he wanted for me; I know.But it’s been hard because I didn’t think I could ever find someone who would love me with a truly devoted kind of love.I…” Her eyes dart between mine.“I didn’t thinkIcould love someone that way again.”
She stares at me expectantly, but I don’t know what she’s hoping for.She steps closer until our bodies are practically touching, and I fight the urge to take her in my arms and feel her lips on mine again.
“I realized something today,” she says, her voice dropping.
“About me,” I say.
“Yes, but something about me too.”
She rests her hand on my chest and stares at it like she’s not quite sure how it got there, while I’m convinced she’s going to leave a permanent mark on my skin where her hand rests.Then she moves her gaze up until it meets mine, and there’s something in her eyes I’m not sure I’ve seen before.
“I can’t say I’ve loved you for over eleven years like you can.In fact, I’m not sure I can pinpoint when my feelings for you changed.”
I suck in a sharp breath and hold it.Her eyes never leave mine when she says, “But I realized today that you mean more to me than just a friend, or just Robbie’s friend.And it scares the shit out of me,” she admits, her voice barely a whisper.
Is she saying what I think she’s saying?Do I have a chance?
I raise shaky hands and place them on her jaw, holding her head steady as I slowly lower mine down.I hesitate when we’re only a breath apart, then I dive in.I kiss her like she belongs to me, or more accurately like I belong to her.
Because I do.I always have.
My hopeful heart soars when she wraps her arms around my waist, holding me close while I deepen the kiss.My tongue slides across hers, and a shiver races down my spine, all the blood in my body quickly pooling in my cock.
Fuck, she tastes better than I ever imagined.
I let out a groan, one hand sliding into her red wavy locks while the other slides down her back until it rests right above her ass.I fight the urge to ravish her like I want to—like I do in my dreams.
Maybe—hopefully—someday.But not today.
Today, I soak in her kiss, in the warmth of her body against mine.In the way her body sags against me as she gives her mouth to me.In the way she holds me as tight as I’m holding her.
Parting, I rest my forehead against hers as we both catch our breath.
“Are you sure this is real?”I ask.
Jo laughs, and the smile that spreads on her face brings a smile to mine.I brush a strand of hair behind her ear and then pull her to me, wrapping her up in a hug.Resting my chin on top of her head, one thought starts repeating in my head.
Please don’t break my heart.