Anna is a Caruso. Her family’s actions condemned me to be the man I am. Closed off, frozen, incapable of the vulnerability that a real marriage needs. Thatsheneeds.
So why did it feel like the truth in there? Why did none of the words I said feel like lies?
I feel a rolling pain in my stomach. That’s reality, rising up to punch me in the gut.
I can wish things were different all I like, but Anna’s here before I dragged her here, not because she wants to be. She’s no interest in staying. The first chance she gets, she’ll leave, and then even my revenge won’t be enough to console me.
I need to break her before that happens. Not fall in love like some dumb teenager who can’t control his emotions.
I live here alone. I am comfortable alone. I don’t need anyone else. I am going to kill Amato for my own reasons, not for her.
I walk into the meeting room and lock the door behind me. Until Michael arrives with the others, I’m going to look at the plans for the college, work out the best approach to this.
Anna and I shared a perfect kiss. A moment of real intimacy. But we will never, ever get that close again.
I push the memory from consciousness and bury it under the broken parts of me.
I will fuck her. I will use her. But the one thing I will never do is fall in love with her.
I can’t.
15
Anna
I lay back on the bed, clambering upright until I’m under the covers. “Sir,” I mutter to myself, my hand sliding down under the blankets. I pull my tits out again, feeling the nipples harden as I recall what he did, the shock and heat hitting me at once. My face coated in his cum, the saltiness on my tongue before I swallowed.
Who am I? I thought the answer to that question was obvious. I’m a qualified paleontologist on the dig of my life. Uncovering a complete Gorgosaurus skeleton thanks to the college funding me and Fleur.
There should be a whole team out there but there’s just the two of us. We do the work. We get the glory. That’s what George said when he hired our firm. He gave us our qualifications. He wants to see us succeed.
I’m a graduate. Got my degree early. Youngest Masters cert’ in the State. I’m an independent adult. I’ve lived with Fleur for years. Soon I’ll have enough saved up to think about getting my own car. My life is moving forward.
Who am I?
I thought I knew. I sit on the end of the bed, my lips still tingling from where he kissed me. It wasn’t just his lips that made me tingle.
He came on me. He marked me. Acted like it was the most normal thing in the world.
It was humiliating. It was degrading. Yet, here I am wondering why my panties got wet when he did it. What does that say about me?
Who am I?
Am I the dutiful wife who lets her husband do whatever the hell he wants?
Am I the trapped kidnap victim who can’t escape the monster keeping her prisoner?
Am I the submissive partner yearning to be spanked by her dominant master?
The thoughts whirl around my head. I have no answer. I thought I knew who I was. Now, I’ve no idea.
He came on me. I held my tits out for him to do it. I let it splash into my mouth. I walked through his house, where anyone might see me. Not only that, but I felt excited to walk that way, emboldened by it being his command.
It wasn’t me choosing to do it.
He chose. He decided. He ordered. I simply obeyed. I let it happen. I submitted to his will.
Last time I saw him, I’d have given anything to be his. But now? Is this right?