I move my hands down my dress, reaching under the hem, finding my panties, slipping them down to my ankles, kicking them off.
I spread my legs, my eyes closed, remembering what he did. “Sir,” I whisper out loud. “I will be good, Sir. I will obey. Spank me, Sir. I need it. I’ve been bad. Make me come, Sir. Let me touch myself. Please, Sir, I’ll do anything for you if you’ll let me come. I need it. I have to come. Please, Sir.”
As the words come out, I stroke my clit. My pussy throbs with need and I want him in me. I want to be bent over his desk, his hand swatting my ass. I want his cock in me. I want it in my ass.
Is this who I am? Or is it just because lust is addling my brain? I can only hope I can get a hold of myself. Not yet, though. First, I need to do this.
I picture myself on all fours, my head down on the ground, my hands reaching back to spread my ass wide for him. He kneels behind me, flicks his tongue over my pussy then my ass, makes me gasp.
All the while, my hand strokes my clit. I don’t care who might hear me. I’m too lost in the moment.
“Let me come, Sir. Please, Sir,” I mutter.
I don’t even know why I’m saying it. All I can think is that it’s like a mantra, rolling around inside my head as I think of him behind me, sliding himself into my pussy, a finger pushing deep into my ass, filling me completely.
I ease a finger into myself, thrusting it a few times back and forth, wishing it was him.
My other hand is still on my clit, stroking it slowly, teasing myself, taking my time.
I’ve never been like this before. It’s always been functional, touching myself. A way to help me get to sleep for the most part. But now? This is something else.
My mind is filled with thoughts of him. As I get closer, I think of him standing over me, stroking his cock while I wait on my knees, knowing what’s going to happen.
It wasn’t the act itself that made me wet, that made my clit throb, made me willing to walk through the house with his cum on my face.
It was what it has always been since I arrived on the island. Something secret, something shared between us. A power dynamic that I’ve never had with anyone before. Perhaps, it’s what I’ve always needed. Someone to take charge.
No, not just someone. Him.
My fingers move faster, bringing me to the edge. Still, I mutter to myself, begging for permission, to be allowed to come. I want him here, I want him to see this, I want to do it for him.
I want to walk into his study with only a coat over my shoulders. Toss it away to reveal my naked body. Spread my legs on his desk while he’s trying to work. Take his hand and push one finger into me, capture his attention, make sure he can only think about me. Have him grab my hips and fuck me until he comes in me.
Have his child.
Where did that thought come from?
I ignore it. A stupid idea.
My fingers move faster as I get back into the moment, picturing him again behind me, only this time he eases his way into my ass, taking the hole that no one has taken before. I’ve had a toy in there once or twice, when I was very drunk and very horny. But now I want him in there. It’s because it’s taboo. Forbidden. Not allowed. I want him to overrule that, to take me in the darkest ways possible.
I move my finger from my pussy, reaching down under myself, finding my asshole. I use my own juices to lubricate my way an inch inside. It feels so tight and somehow makes my pussy feel emptier. I want him in me. I need it so badly.
I stroke myself steadily, getting ever closer. My hips push up as I reach the brink and then I can’t speak at all. My climax is all consuming. My eyes are shut but I can see him. His face. He looks down at me. He smiles. He nods. “Good girl,” he says as my body shakes on the bed. “Very good girl.”
I collapse back, spent. My hands come to my sides, my arms slack. My pussy is still contracting, my breathing slowly returning to normal. Before I know what’s happening, I’m fast asleep.
My dreams are filled with dinosaurs. I’m on a dig but I’m not uncovering a skeleton. No one knows what’s under ground. They can’t dig. The soil is solid for them all. I come forward and I give it a try. At once I’m dragging Leo from the dirt and he’s whole in front of me.
I jolt awake to the sound of someone knocking on my bedroom door. “Yes,” I call out, hoping it’s Leo.
“Dinner’s ready,” Jessica calls in. “I was sent to fetch you.”
“Be right down.”
I climb out of bed, remembering my panties and reaching to grab them. I slide them up my legs, pushing my boobs back into my bra. This isn’t who I am. This is just who I pretend to be when I’m alone.
I’m a respectable person, I think to myself as I button up my blouse. No one needs to know what goes on in my head. I can just pretend none of this happened.