I press my face into the pillow even more. I would love to scream out my frustration and the words that sit on my lips.
They fall out of my mouth eventually.
“It was depressing without you as well,” I say, my voice hoarse. “But staying there tonight while you were in Manhattan was excruciatingly painful.”
My words are muffled against the pillow but intelligible nonetheless.
He rolls onto his side, the heat of his body lining my back, and peels the pillow away from my face.
He sets it to the side.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Raven.”
I bite my lip to stop it from trembling.
As if it’s in his power.
Didn’t he say I’d fall for him, and he wouldn’t even have anything to do with it?
I keep my mouth shut.
He brushes my hair away from my face and pulls me into his chest until we’re perfectly pressed into each other. My back into his torso.
His fingers play on my neck before sliding down my body so his arm snakes around my waist.
He breathes into my hair.
“It broke my heart to see my place empty…” he continues. “As much as it broke my heart to see you alone at the bar.”
He stops as if pondering or pushing back his emotions.
I don’t move. And I don’t glance over my shoulder to see his eyes.
I don’t want to ruin this moment.
I don’t want it to end.
And I don’t think I’ve ever been so close to him.
“Do you think I don’t see you?” he asks quietly, his voice a bit rumbly like mine when I fought my tears back.
“I see you more than you think. And do you believe I don’t know how much you need me? How would I not know when I need you just as much? You felt lonely in your home this evening. And I felt lonely in the middle of a crowd. I know your loneliness. Your loneliness is just like mine. One day we’ll leave this loneliness behind, and we'll replace it with something else. Something better. A lot better. Until then, we’ll learn how to trust each other, and I will hold you in my arms, so you can give me your tears, knowing that I’ll be there for you when you wake up…”
To be continued.
* * *