Kai can pull away from me at any moment, and he’s shown that to me so many times. Whether he does it because he’s angry, out of frustration because things don’t go his way, or he simply wants to regroup.
It doesn’t matter.
It makes no difference.
He can do it.
The words he said have no power over him.
It doesn’t matter that he likes my tears.
It doesn’t matter that they were his ending.
He can pull away from me anytime he wants, while I can’t suppress how I feel about him.
His arm is locked around me, his hand stroking the root of my neck.
He may be all that, but there’s something else. Something that makes my heart ache.
I feel his emotions––everything suggested by his tense grip, warm hands, and famished lips.
It all flows through him, runs through his blood, throbs in his chest, and comes to me in the form of a passionate kiss.
I’m not the only one protecting secrets. I’m not the only one saying one thing and doing another.
The words mean nothing when he speaks.
His luring words have sunk their little hooks into my heart and torn it down, flooding me with emotions.
Emotions I’m barely holding back.
He is the ocean pulling away from me while I am the shore waiting for him.
The thought ignites a fire in my body because what can’t be said finds other ways to express itself.
My fingers go up his muscular back, and my thighs open, one sliding up to his hip.
He enters me, and things only get hotter, the emotions churning out a blaze of fire.
Things aren’t getting easier. We kiss harder, and harder, unable to break away from each other.
We can’t pretend this is only sex.
And we can’t say what it is either because neither of us can admit something that can have such profound consequences in our lives.
For us, this is not a simple matter of accepting what it is and moving on with our lives.
Letting things flow.
We can’t talk, but we can kiss. And everything that doesn’t make it to our lips shows in how we love each other.
He moves slowly, deep. He kisses me with ardor, tenderness, and voracity.
He kisses me like he’s afraid to lose me, fueling my own desire. My fingers slide into his hair before forming a fist of desperation.
And I’m getting so close… So close to saying the words. To make it official.
But I stop…