Nodding, I admitted that I did. I imagined that Paula was behaving as my grandmother would have or my mother should have. Being in her embrace was nice and safe.
“Julia, I’m an old woman, and if you’re willing to listen, I have the same advice.”
I nodded.
“It is the same as what I said when you and I only recently met. You and Mr. Sherman must be open and honest with one another. Accept one another for who each other is. Nothing else matters and no one can come between two people who have that transparency with one another.”
I peered out into the living room to be certain we weren’t being overheard. “We have been honest and open. He’s told me things…” I hesitated. “Things that I know were hard for him to discuss. I love him more because of that. It wouldn’t be fair to tell him about my fears at the moment. He has enough on his plate with trying to recuperate and getting back to work at Sherman and Madison. Besides, my fears are ridiculous. Madison is in custody.” And Phillip… the thought was there. Nevertheless, I didn’t mention his name.
“You don’t think Mr. Sherman can handle hearing your concerns?”
“I know he can handle them. He has. Michael, Albert, and Jonathon have all worked to keep us safe and make me feel that way. I just keep thinking that Madison wasin this house.” Saying it aloud caused a chill to skirt over my skin.
“The third floor has sensors now,” Paula said.
“I know. And she isn’t here. I think I’m losing it. I still see and hear her.”
“You aren’t losing it, Julia. You went through a traumatic event. So did Peggy and your friend Vicki and so did Mr. Sherman. No one expects you to be unaffected by all of that.”
“I want to move on. I need to concentrate on my family’s company, but I can’t.”
“Not all medical care is physical. You could speak with a counselor in Ashland or Bayfield.”
“I don’t want to leave the house.” There was no right or wrong answer.
“Mr. Sherman’s brother…?” Paula asked. “I haven’t heard.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No sign. It’s been three weeks since he pretended to be Van and almost two weeks since our wedding that didn’t…here…because of Madison.” My sentences weren’t exactly poetic. Thankfully, Paula was able to decipher their meaning.
“Has Mr. Sherman’s sister heard from him?”
“Van said no. I would say that Olivia and I didn’t exactly hit it off. But Van has spoken to her since we’ve been home, and I’m glad he has. After all, she’s his sister.”
Paula reached for my hands and squeezed. “Peggy and I can get the decorations if you think you would like to use them here.”
Exhaling, I turned toward the living room and imagined it decorated for our wedding. When I turned back, Paula was watching me. “I may be the only person in the world who wants to marry a man like Van—a man who could provide the most spectacular event—and not want a wedding. I’ve had three in the course of a month and my track record is pretty bad.”
“You want to marry Mr. Sherman.” Her gray eyes opened wider. “You haven’t changed your mind?”
A genuine smile came to my lips. “I’d say I want to marry him more today than I did two weeks ago.” A memory came back of Van and me in Oscar Fields’s office. “More than the first time he asked. I think Van will always be a mystery, but now I know more about him. He knows more about me. His injury has…”
Paula shook her head. “Not my business.”
“It’s that the injury has made us slow down a bit, and that has its advantages too.”
“What are you waiting for? If you don’t want a wedding, you have the license. Go into town, sign the papers in front of a judge and be married.”
What were we waiting for?
I’d called Vicki and spoken with her multiple times. She told me to give her a date and if she could fly directly to and from Ashland, she would be here.
“Maybe Van and I need to discuss this,” I suggested.
Van
“It’s been over two weeks. Rob Landon has never been out of contact that long,” I said, staring across my desk at Michael. We were in my home office. While Connie had been back and forth to the house, I hadn’t made the trip into Ashland other than to meet with a physician. Staying with Julia felt as if it were the place I belonged. “I’m not willing to lose you or Albert. I want you to contact your company in Chicago and find out if they can spare personnel to go on a search for Rob and Phillip.”
“We’ve had two people on the search for Mr. Thomas since you first asked.”