We found the pleasure in simple touches, holding one another, sharing our secrets and our concerns, staring into one another’s eyes, and just being close.
“Does he have someone coming to the house to check on him?” Paula asked.
“Van has a doctor in town. He’s been there once since we got back, has instructions on care and physical therapy. His next appointment is scheduled.” I sighed. “As long as things keep improving, I don’t think Van’s open to any new or more people coming in the house.”
Paula nodded. “I will say the traffic has picked up since you arrived.”
“Not my intention.” I took a sip of the hot liquid and smiled at the older woman. “I never got the chance to thank you for the decorations in the cabin.”
She stopped what she was doing and looked my way. “Have you been out there—to the cabin?”
I shook my head. “No. But I’ve heard from Michael that what you and Margaret did was nice.”
My thoughts went where they often did.
The face I saw through the cabin window, the one I couldn’t make out weeks ago was now crystal clear, complete with Madison’s blond hair and green eyes. Her stare was lighter than Van’s and Olivia’s—however, the similarities between the two women were close enough to account for my first reaction when Olivia entered Van’s hospital room.
I didn’t only imagine Madison peering through the cabin window. I also saw her in this house, hiding in the shadows, watching and listening. Oscar Fields promised that Madison was still in custody, but that didn’t seem to matter when my pulse raced and my skin beaded with perspiration.
“Maybe,” Paula said, “Peggy and I could go out there with you—to the cabin.”
My head shook quickly back and forth.
“Jonathon could drive us, or Michael or Albert,” she went on. “We could gather the decorations and bring them back here. You know, Donovan’s” —she grinned— “yourliving room is beautiful for a wedding.”
Running my finger over the rim of the mug, I thought about returning to the cabin. Unease at the thought caused the English muffin and fruit I’d just eaten for breakfast to churn in my stomach. Looking up at Paula, I said, “I don’t want to leave Van.”
“Have you been out of the house since you returned from Madison?”
“I went to the doctor’s office in town with Van.”
“Did you go anywhere else? His office? A café?”
“Truly, there’s nowhere I want to go.” My gaze went to the large windows as I recalled the consignment and the coffee shops, two places where I’d seen Madison.
Will she forever lurk in Ashland?
The sun shone beyond the panes. Despite more than a month passing since I first arrived in Ashland, snow was still present and the temperatures still frigid. I looked back at Paula who was again cooking. “Van took me snowmobiling before. It was beautiful. He can’t do that now.”
“He will.”
“I know.”
“So, Donovan has been to his doctor…” Paula eyed me up and down. “What about you?”
“I’m fine,” I said with all the muster I could manage. “Really.”
“Physically. But sometimes it helps to talk to people.”
The lump in my throat was growing larger. “I really am fine.” I pushed back from the breakfast counter and lowered my feet to the floor. “Thank you for all the food you’re making and all you’ve done. I’m sure the decorations were amazing.”
I was almost out of the kitchen when Paula touched my shoulder. When I turned, she had her arms extended, open wide. I didn’t hesitate as I leaned down into her embrace and her arms surrounded me.
In that moment, I lost my fight with my emotions. The ones I’d tried to keep hidden so as to not burden Van came bubbling out of me much like an overflow on a pressure cooker. Paula didn’t say a word as she continued holding me.
Finally, I stood, sniffling and wiping my cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
Her smile was sweet as her gray eyes glistened. “Do you feel better?”