“I don’t want to go back. I want to go forward, with you.”
His palm came to my cheek, cupping my face. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Tell me why you want me to go to Ashland.”
“Fuck,” he growled, “I don’t. I also” —his gaze moved to the walker and back— “don’t want you to see me weak.”
This was what Arnold meant.
A smile came to my lips. “You are the opposite of weak, Van. You’re strong. You make me strong too. I felt you, even in Chicago. It would have been easy to fall back into old habits, to let my parents run my life, to curl into a ball and give up on a future. After all, I wasn’t getting any information about you or from you. Questions nagged at me, such as if you still wanted me.”
“Fuck that, Julia. I want you. I will never stop wanting you.”
I nodded. “I know that. I know that because you’ve told me over and over. I’ve seen it in your expression. I’ve felt it in your touch. No one, not Madison or Phillip, can take that away. We will survive this.”
Van let out a long breath. “I can’t even walk to the damn bathroom.”
“Then I guess that means I get to be on top for a while.”
The sexiest smile I knew shone toward me.
“I despise weakness,” he said, his expression dimming.
“Then let me be strong.”
Van pushed his head back as his gaze scanned over me. “She hurt you too.”
I shrugged. “You win that contest. I don’t know what you know about what she did to me.” I went for the condensed version. “The doctors said that she injected me with a tranquilizer, one they think she stole from where she’d been a patient. I suppose she could have given me an overdose, but she didn’t. It was weird. I could see what was happening but not respond. No movement at all, even talking.” I remembered. “I saw her gather the paintings—you know the ones you had in the closet on the third floor?”
“You saw those?”
“Weeks ago, I went up to the third floor and looked around. I think she set them on fire. I couldn’t see the fire. She closed me in the closet. I smelled the smoke. When I woke, I was in Chicago.” I smiled. “I’ve spoken with Margaret and Vicki. They’re both fine. And Margaret said that Jonathon is working on the house. It should be fully repaired soon.”
Van’s lips came together. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“The only thing that I’m sorry about is that I don’t have a second band under this engagement ring.”
Van lifted my left hand, again staring at the engagement diamond. “You have your ring back.”
I spread my fingers and looked at the diamond. “Back?”
“I saw it on Madison’s finger right before she shot me.”
My head shook from side to side as a new memory appeared. “I think I recall something…but I had it on when I woke.” My nose scrunched. “I do remember she was wearing a wedding dress exactly like mine.”
Before Van could respond, the door to his room opened.
I gasped at the woman entering. With light hair and her eyes downcast toward a cup in her grasp, I believed I was seeing Madison.
“What the hell?” I asked.
Van
Julia was an absolute vision. She was the flower I’d told her she was—her petals opened. She was strong and fierce like the blossom that survived the rain, taking the nourishment that came in a heavy downpour. Instead of weakening her, she grew stronger, her stem straighter, and her bloom brighter. Despite what Madison had done to both of us, Julia was fresh and bright as the fucking sun; she lightened the room.
While Julia wore blue jeans and a sweater, my mind couldn’t help but see what wasn’t visible, what she hid beneath the clothes. I imagined her perfect skin, soft curves, and flat planes. Simply being in her presence made me feel more alive than I had since I woke.
Julia spun toward the opening door. “What the hell?”