After this, I’ll go talk to him.
With a deep breath, I walked through the sliding doors and into the upscale hotel. The restaurant was to the right. We’d had plenty of lunches and dinners there over the three years I’d been at FU. I spotted my dad right away. He was wearing slacks and a button-up shirt like he always did, but missing a blazer. I knew he had work afterward, but even if he hadn’t, my dad rarely dressed down more than this.
He was typing on his phone. The thing almost never left his hand. He was busy, I got it, but it was sad that I couldn’t remember a time when our conversation hadn’t been interrupted by a text, email, or call he absolutely had to take.
We looked so much alike…same blond hair, same blue eyes, same slender nose and high cheekbones.
As I approached the table, he immediately frowned. “I thought your friend was joining us.”
My dad had no problems with my bisexuality, so I knew that wasn’t the reason he’d labeled Brax the way he had, but still, it rubbed me the wrong way. “He’s my boyfriend. Remember you called him that yesterday? Something came up.” He raised a brow as if he didn’t believe me. Great job, Ty. Maybe next time come up with a story beforehand.
I pulled out a chair and sat across from him. We stared at each other, each waiting for the other to speak. My dad and I were similar more than just physically. We were both stubborn and liked to be right.
Finally, he said, “I appreciate your coming today.”
Oh. I hadn’t expected that. I shrugged, unsure how to respond.
“We can’t keep going the way we have been. I won’t accept this behavior. I know you’re angry with me, but I’m still your father. Playing these silly games doesn’t change that.”
My brows drew together. “Silly games?” I asked, just as the waitress approached. I hadn’t even looked at the menu, but at this point, I didn’t give a shit what we ordered. I wanted to know what he meant by that.
“I’d like the blackened salmon, rice, and steamed broccoli,” Dad ordered, smooth as honey. From the outside, you wouldn’t know we’d been talking about something serious.
I was craving a big, fat burger and some fries, but I just asked for the same so we could continue our conversation.
When she walked away, I asked, “What silly games are you talking about?”
“Ignoring my calls or being disrespectful when we speak, that job at the bar. Your grades are slipping. Coach has kept me in the loop with those, and I can’t help wondering if any of it has to do with this new boy you’ve been spending time with.”
Brax? He was going to blame this on Brax? My chest tightened. My breathing rushed out in quick, short pants. “Are you kidding me right now? I recently found out I have a twenty-year-old brother, a toddler sister, oh, and my dad left my mom for his baby mama, and you’re blaming shit that’s not even a real problem on Brax? He’s the only thing that’s kept me sane!”
“Lower your voice, Tyson,” Dad said between tight lips.
“I like my job, Dad. It makes me feel responsible, like I have something that’s just mine, ya know? Something I didn’t get because of you or Mom. And I’m not talking to you because you hurt me, because you hurt Mom and you took my siblings away from me. Did you know I’m actually jealous of Perry? That I both envy him and feel bad for him because I had you and he just had money? That I want to meet him but I’m scared because I think he might hate me? I would hate me if I were him.”
He flinched, his eyes softening slightly. “Tyson, I—”
“No. Let me do this. I deserve to get this out.” We were lucky the restaurant wasn’t too busy, the tables around us empty. Even if they weren’t, I wouldn’t have cared. I needed to say these words. I needed to tell him how I felt. I needed to know he loved me even if I wasn’t a mirror image of him. “I spent my whole life wanting to be like you, looking up to you, thinking you were the best man I’ve ever known, and now, now I see you’re just human, like the rest of us. You’re flawed, and you make mistakes, and you hurt people. Maybe that shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me, but it did.
“And somehow, that truth turned my world upside down, because a part of me still wants you to look at me the way you always have, to make you proud and never disappoint you, while the rest of me is pissed and hurt and so fucking tired of pretending I’m you, that I could be you, or that I want to be you.”