I let go of her, leaned forward, elbows on my knees and hands in my hair.
“Maybe…” she continued, “that’s one of the things you and Ty have in common. You both have big hearts, even though you try to hide them. You love Asher and you love me, so you try to make up for his shortcomings, and you let him walk all over you…and Ty, he’s angry with his father, but he wants to make him proud.”
“How does following his heart mean he’s not making his dad proud?”
“It doesn’t, but for whatever reason, Ty’s decided that it does. In here.” She touched her chest. “When it comes to his father, maybe that’s where he sees his worth. That doesn’t make it true, but our hearts and minds are good at playing tricks on us sometimes, just like yours did with you, because part of the reason you walked away last night wasn’t because of what Ty said, but the fact that you love him, you don’t feel worthy of him, and you’re afraid that if you meet his dad, he won’t approve and Ty will change his mind.”
My gaze shot to hers, and I was scared of what she saw when she looked back at me—the truth, the one I hadn’t realized until just that second. She was right. I loved Ty. I wanted him to love me too, and if he couldn’t even tell his dad he wanted to be a nurse, that he wanted to help sick people, how would he ever choose me? How could he ever tell his dad he loved me? Maybe it would end up like it had when people found out about me and Wayne. “I…” Damn. This sucked. I didn’t even know what to say.
“He loves you too.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I do. I see the way that boy looks at you, and I see the way you look at him. But even more importantly, you’re worthy. Anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re smart, kind, funny, and adorably grumpy.” I couldn’t help smiling. “You care about others. You take care of me. If Ty doesn’t see that—though I don’t think that’s the case—if he lets you go, it’s his loss. If his dad doesn’t approve of you, well, he’ll have me to deal with, and I’m a lot tougher than I look.”
This time, my smile settled into a chuckle. “You’re the strongest person I know.”
“Funny, I think the same about you.”
“Asher is screwing up. He’s partying all the time. He sees Dad. I make excuses for why he doesn’t come here when really, it’s just him being a jerk.” God, I let him chase me out of my own house, our grandma’s house, when I couldn’t even trust him to take care of it.
Shit was gonna change.
I was gonna change.
“Whatever he does, Asher is responsible for his own decisions, just like your father was, and just like you are right now. I have no doubt you’ll set everything right.”
I wasn’t sure I had the same faith in myself she did, but I sure as shit was gonna try.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Ty
Love was dumb.
I’d spent all last night and this morning feeling sad, missing Brax, and okay, maybe I was a little annoyed too. The I-don’t-like-you, sexy fighting with Brax was way more fun than the real kind, the one where you loved the other, didn’t know if they felt the same, and the two of you walked away mad. This wasn’t my favorite part of having a boyfriend, and…did I even still have one? I assumed so. When he left, he said he didn’t want to fight with me, not that he didn’t want to be with me. I supposed I could message him and find out, but I had lunch with my dad and needed to keep my head on straight.
“I can’t believe he bailed on you today,” Ford said. I’d spilled my guts to them last night, telling them about Dad and my siblings and wanting to be a nurse. It was as if my fight with Brax had cut me open and I couldn’t hold all my truth inside anymore. The guys were cool, stayed up with me most of the night and had only been a little pissed at me for not trusting them enough to tell them all that shit earlier.
“I said some not so great things to him. It’s not his fault. We were both being dumbasses.” I was pretty sure that came with the territory of being a twenty-one-year-old, but that didn’t make it any easier.
“Still, though…and all that shit with your dad. It’s heavy.” Watty gave me a sad smile.
“Thanks for the reminder.” I knew he meant well, but I was already all up in my feels, and talking about it didn’t help.
I finished getting ready and headed to the hotel where my dad always stayed when he came to town. I pulled up out front, the valet already there to take my car. Nerves attacked my insides, waging a full-fledged war in my belly. I checked my phone one more time to see if I had a text from Brax, but I didn’t. It made my stomach twist even more. Not only did I have my dad to deal with, but I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about Brax, wishing last night had gone down better.