It’s midnight, I’m standing out next to the obscene iron gates, that even all these months later, still have me staring at them in awe, while I wait for whatever wannabe gangster Clarke has sent to meet me.
He called an hour ago and told me to be out front, so here I am, waiting and with every second that ticks by I debate just turning around and going back to my room, consequences be damned. My mask is slightly skewed after my meltdown today, and no matter how much I try to bury my feelings to face the unknown of tonight, it still doesn’t fit quite right.
Thankfully, I’m not waiting another two minutes before a black SUV pulls up. My eyes widen as the gates automatically open when it pulls closer, and even more so when I see who steps out of the car. Without thinking, I launch forward, throwing my arms around his neck, squealing as he laughs holding me tightly against him. Nova squeezes me, lifting me up so my feet dangle freely in the air and gives me a quick spin before settling me back down, moving back just enough to grin down at me.
“Missed you, kid. How are you doing in this big fancy school?”
I continue to grin at him, taking in the changes from the last time I saw him. His brown wavy hair, only a shade or so darker than my own, is a longer around the edges, curling a little longer around the edges of the beanie he never takes off. He smiles down at me with those big brown eyes and wide smile in a way that is so contagious that you can’t help but join him.
I shrug a single shoulder, not wanting to lie to him about my time here, and not wanting to fill the time I’m getting with him now with unpleasantries. Our whole friendship is based honesty, but we respect that not every question will have an answer either. We met a few years back when he was found wandering around Clarke’s apartment, I thought I’d seen him a few times over the month prior and had mentioned it to Clarke. Turns out Nova was scoping the place to try talk to Clarke about joining the ranks.
It took months of him proving his loyalties before he was accepted and he’s now essential to the growth. Last I heard he was down south, expanding Clarke’s reach. I never asked about what made him seek us out, knowing that only the damaged run into the awaiting arms of the devil, and he’s never offered the information, sticking to lighthearted conversation, and using our time together to just laugh.
As selfish as it is, I’m kind of thankful for whatever happened that lead him here. He’s a bright spot in this world, and I would have died a long time ago without him. Maybe not physically, but I could feel my soul slipping away from me day by day and the emptiness inside expanding with eachlessonI performed for Clarke. I was barely a shell when he appeared, running on instinct, and living in the darkest depths of my mind.
Nova pulled me from that, weaved his way into my distrustful heart and grabbed my hand. And since then, unless he’s on an assignment, he’s always close by, standing by me. He made me need him and gave me strength when I truly felt I had none left. He waves a hand in front of my face and it’s then that I realise he’s been talking, and I’ve been lost in my own little world, just happy to be in his presence.
“How long are you in town for? Or are you finished wherever you were?” I ask him. Nova pushes lightly on my head, before bending to tickle me. I gasp and shout out, batting his hands away with my own, while laughing all the while.
“I just told you, twerp. If you were listening, you’d already know.” He continues his onslaught of tickles until I’m gasping out that I can’t breathe. Nova’s laughing as he pulls me back in close, an arm around my shoulder and plants a kiss on my temple.
“I’m just back for the week. Recon and all that. Clarke mentioned you had something for him, and I offered to do the drive. He argued a bit, but here I am.” Distain drips when he speaks of Clarke, like he truly hates him. Clarke has many enemies, so it’s not surprising, but he’s usually respected from those inside his own ranks. Not Nova though, I don’t know why, but Nova loathes Clarke.
“Why’d you join if you can’t stand him?” The question bursts out of me without thought and I squeeze my eyes shut in response.Idiot.Nova responds with a smile and shoulder shrug, similar to what I gave him before, telling me lightly that it’s not something he wants to discuss. Accepting that, I move on.
Stepping away, I grab the package I brought with me and hold it out to Nova. He stares at it for a beat before his eyes flick up to mine, a question shining bright. He knows. I give him the subtlest of nods push it closer to him. Nova takes it, pushing it in his back pocket before giving a concerned look.
His words are measured when he speaks next, like he’s concerned someone could overhear our conversation. “You’re being careful, aren’t you?”
He doesn’t have to say more than that. I know what he’s asking. Is what I’m doing, going to get me in trouble with Clarke?So much trouble. I need to do this though. Clarke’s behavior over the past few months has become more erratic, his laser-focus a little blurred, and I need to know what he’s planning. I measure my words just as carefully.
“I’m aware of what could happen, but somethings are out of our control. For now.” I tac on the end. He doesn’t look pleased by what I’ve said, if anything he looks a little menacing, but he nods slowly and reaches over to pull me in, crushing me against him.
He just stands there and holds me for a moment, and I hold him right back. He’s scared. Of what, I don’t know, but Nova needs this right now. Releasing a heavy sigh, he pulls back, holding my shoulders in his hands.
“I better get going, but I hate to leave you here.”
I chuckle at him, giving him a playful shove. “You say that every time you go.”
“And it’s true every time.”
He gives me another quick kiss on the temple, promising to call tomorrow, and starts for the SUV. I stay in place, watching it reverse and disappear into the night. I make it back to the entrance of the dormitories when I hear the crunching of gravel under feet. Turning quickly, I see Jack stalking my way, the set of his jaw tight and his eyes hard.
“So, what Blakely said was true then. You’re sneaking out to meet your criminal boyfriend.” He gives me a disgusted look before shaking his head. I don’t get a chance to respond, his shoulder lightly grazing against mine as he prowls past me. I want to shout after him, tell him it isn’t what it looks like, but decide against it. It’s been a long ass day and I just want to crash in my bed and huddle in the blankets until the sun rises.
I expected Jack to confront me about my nighttime activities when he saw me with Nova, but he doesn’t. In fact, for the next days I don’t see him at all. I think about asking Peyton about him, but she gets stand-offish when it comes to her brother and his friends, so I leave it alone by reminding myself that I shouldn’t care anyway.
It's lunch time, and it’s just warm enough for me to be outside with my blazer on. My back is leaning against the trunk of a chestnut oak tree that is just large enough to provide a circumference of shade surrounding it, but not so large that I couldn’t lean on the tree and have my legs warm in the ray beams. It's my favorite spot on campus, and a perfect place to just be.
It's peaceful out here and is the only place I can truly sort out all my thoughts. Sharing the room with Blakely is taking a toll on me, and now without access to caffeine around the clock, I’m a little embarrassed to say I’m going through withdrawals. I told Sipho what happened and after his mortification and grumpy old man routine, he did offer to give me access to the staff coffee machine. It took everything in me to refuse, but I didn’t want the any backlash coming to him. The last thing Sipho needs is trouble and unfortunately, I have it in spades.
Nova never did call like he said he would, he did text though to tell me he had a meeting with Clarke at 10am. Conveniently for me that was when I would be in the computer lab, so I brought my laptop with me and managed to allow him access to the hard drive. Nash sat beside me again, glancing over at my laptop constantly, but never said a word.
I want to talk to him about last week but apparently, I’m fucking pathetic because anytime there was an opportunity, I chickened out. Just this morning I ducked and scurried off like a mouse when I saw him enter the dining hall. I need to steel my spine and just face this head on. My eyes are closed, soaking in as much of the silence as I can, when the warm of the sun disappears. I scowl before opening my eyes to find a hulking form standing over top of me.
My frown deepens as I take in Jack. He’s wearing the required uniform, but instead of the standard black sneakers he usually wears, he’s got on black leather boots. That with the way the wind has tousled his hair and the looseness of his tie, he looks a little dangerous and a lot sexy. He’s freaking blessed, and I have to remind myself he’s also so very off-limits. He looks like he just came back from a quick fuck in the stacks and found me on his way back.
Oh god. Did he just come from the stacks? I look around us, but I don’t see anyone else nearby. Pointing my focus back at him, I take another look at his uniform. His blazer is still in place, and despite the lax in his tie, his shirt is still neatly tucked and pristine, so unless he got changed already, I doubt it.