I giggle and tease him a little before I get to the point. “I’m going to your place tonight. I made plans with Holden and I decided it’s also a good time to end it.”
“Okay. Have fun.” He kisses my cheek. “You deserve it with all this overtime.”
And that’s exactly what I intend on doing. I end up being shared by Holden and Nick. We go at least three rounds and try some amazing positions like they’ve been pent up and saved it all for me. But I notice that Holden doesn’t want to get on his knees tonight. He’s a bit more stiff than normal, especially on round three.
I’m surprised. I know how muscular he is, how strong he is. I wonder if something’s wrong. We finish and I lay with Nick on the bed while Holden stretches and groans. His pants dip down further than normal and I catch something just under his knee.
He follows my gaze and jerks up his pants. I look over at him. “Hold, you want to shower?”
“No.”
“what was-”
“Nothing.” He walks out of the room quickly.
I blink a few times then look at Nick. He rubs my hip. “It’s not for me to tell, baby.”
“That’s a cop-out. How have I been with you guys for this long and I still don’t know the big stuff?”
“Because this is casual and I know it’s temporary, Bella. Didn’t you say that once too?”
“I did.” I nod. I roll to face Nick. “Thank you for cuddling me.”
He smiles and kisses my forehead. “Serious or not, I’m not just going to come and go … literal or otherwise.”
I smile and kiss him again slowly. I stroke over his chest. I take a slow breath. “This will be the last time like this, Nicky.”
“Hmm? Where we cuddle?”
I shake my head. “Where we have sex.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m telling you guys one at a time, but we’re getting closer to moving and when we do, I’m ending the relationship we’ve been sharing.”
“I see. Are you staying here?”
“No. I’m going …” Why is this suddenly so hard? I swallow.
“If you cry, I’m going to cry, Bella.”
“Matthew and I are close and we want to really try to be together. I told Miles. I was going to tell Holden, but he’s … gone. But I’m doing it slowly. So it’s not overwhelming or like … a conference meeting.”
He chuckles and cups my face. “You and Matthew will be happy together, sweetie.”
“I hope so.” I laugh, then bite my bottom lip. “Is it weird that I consider you a good friend, Nick?”
“No. I’m honored.” He rubs my hand and kisses me softly. “I’m going to miss these moments.”
I lean my head on his shoulder and sigh heavily. That’s two down.
I find Holden in the kitchen and rub his back. I kiss his shoulder. “You can tell me things, Holden.”
“It’s nothing, Bella. Thank you for coming over.”
I take a step back after that dismissal. Holden has never been the warmest person. But he’s never been rude. I narrow my eyes. “I don’t want things to be like this between us.”
He sighs. “I’m not going to open up about some things. That’s just the way it is.”