But I know that I still need to pack and clean which, alongside work, is probably going to take me a solid week. I barely have four days to do all this. And now I’m frustrated. I hate feeling rejected like this. Feeling like I’m only good enough for sex and nothing more. Friends with benefits is fine, but this isn’t acceptable.
“Then you’ll be happy about what I’m going to say.”
He looks up at my tone.
“This was our last night together. We can still be friends, but since that requires opening up, I don’t know if that’s in the cards for us. Either way, I look forward to continuing our working relationship.”
He gapes at me. “What? Because I wouldn’t talk aboutonething?”
“No. Because it’s time. We knew this was temporary. With the move coming up, it’s the best time to do this. And you’re right. Neither of us have opened up. We’ve just enjoyed each other which is great, but now … it’s time to be done. I wanted us to end on a good note, but I guess that’s not in the cards.”
“Bella!” He calls.
I stop but don’t face him. He sighs and slowly comes to rub my sides. He kisses my neck and I have to fight myself. Holden’s so damn gentle when he wants to be. “Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry that I frustrated you.”
“It’s okay.” I turn in his arms and kiss him softly. “You never let me get confused about things and I appreciate that.”
He moves my hair from my face. I sniff. “I’m sorry I lashed out.”
He gives me a hint of a smile. “I’m sorry I did the same. We’ll make better colleagues than lovers.”
I hug him anyway and sigh. A throat clears and I see Gunner. His eyes are red-rimmed and I can tell he’s frustrated based on the twitch in the corner of his mouth.
“What’s this about being done?”
“We can still talk and say goodbye if you want, but … well … you heard everything else.”
He considers that then walks over to me, kissing me hungrily and crushing me against him. I whimper, but my mouth responds. He’s so familiar and warm. Even if there’s nothing but chemistry between us, I know that I got lucky.
“Were you even going to tell me?” He demands.
“Gunner, I-”
He just shakes his head and walks away. I bite my bottom lip and force myself not to follow. If I do, it’ll be giving him false hope. Holden rubs my shoulder. “He’ll be okay. He just has to feel it first.”
“I hope I’m not his first taste of rejection.”
“Not his first, and certainly not his last,” Holden promises.
I thank him and head home. Only one person left. I play with my fingers as I think about that, nearly missing the light turning green. Roman is going to be the challenge.
BELLA
It’s already Friday. Matthew’s been helping me pack because I guess professional movers and packers are taking care of their stuff. We drink wine together, tease each other, go through my things and talk about the memories they bring up.
I love this time with Matthew, it reaffirms what I was already sure about. That he and I are going to be good together. That he’s the one that is right for me. Matthew puts a sombrero on my head and I set a top hat on his.
“You’re so dapper.”
He stands and bows to me. “Can I interest you in a dance? Perhaps … a tango?”
I laugh and jump up to join him. Dancing with silly hats on. I trip over my feet until Matthew shows me the dance, despite the lack of music. We’re dramatic and ridiculous. I love being able to have fun with him like this. He’ll be a good dad one day.
The thought makes me pause. Matthew dips me, then pulls me back up. “What’s that face for?”
“We should have one big conversation … thing before we cement this.”
He blinks at me a few times. “Is it the guys?”