“No, please continue.” She waves me on, and I shift my jaw with a quiet huff as our waiters bring out the first course. Looks like some sort of fish and brioche. I glance at it only for a moment before looking back into her waiting eyes.
“I don’t know what this….” I take her hand and toggle ours between us. “is. I don’t. But I’m willing to find out if it means we can keep doing whatever the fuck that was last night.” I whisper now, leaning nearly an inch apart. There’s a long pause as she picks at her food before she turns back to me.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” I tilt my head, and she grins softly, flicking a piece of hair that falls down on my forehead.
“Yeah, but we can’t tell anyone. It’s too complicated to involve other people.”
“Right,” I quickly agree before she changes her mind, and she continues.
“And if it in any way interferes with our work, we should stop. Immediately. And just focus on being friends and co-workers.”
“Okay.” I nod and hold out my hand for her to shake. She rolls her eyes, but she can’t hide her grin as she takes my hand to shake it. That electric feeling pulsates between us as she does, and I want to avoid letting go of her hand at all costs. I want to use it to pull her closer to me and ignore everyone else in this room.
I won’t say I have any experience with this type of connection, but I will say, at least for the next month, I’ll have the best sex of my entire life. That will be enough to get her out of my system— I think— and we’ll both leave this gig with experience and fantasies to last a lifetime.
19
KIRA
So, I may have agreed to endless sex with Romeo for the time being… but I have a new plan. If he’s not going to open up to me, then I’m going to have to keep going through his phone. I can’t do that unless we’re close enough to each other to get a hold of it. That’s why I completely ignored him all day Sunday and kept him at bay so that he’d have to beg for my affection.
And honestly, I’m a genius because it worked. Kias will get the info he needs, and the Bratva will be attempting to break up a San Giovanni deal at any moment. It’s Tuesday— the date I found on Romeo’s phone about a meeting he’s having with the Pirus gang. They won’t be solidifying any deals with anyone else if the Bratva has anything to do with it.
Kias is pretty proud of me for how much information I was able to give to him over the weekend. Needless to say, this mission is going really well. It would be unfair for me not to note that maybe a sex pact with my means to the mission isn’t the best choice. And it’s totally possible that the strong connection between Romeo and I will only be fed by our impulses… but this is my whole career on the line. Everything I’ve ever wanted is just within my grasp. If I have to batter my heart and head a little to get what I want, it’s worth it. God, I hope it’s fucking worth it.
“Hurry, Lydia.” There’s an aggressive knock on my door before the sun has even risen. I know it’s Barrett, and I know what he’s waking me up for. It doesn’t make it any more annoying that he’s doing it so aggressively. Ever since this weekend, he has been a complete asshole to me. I think it’s becoming abundantly clear that Kias is proud of me— something he’s never felt from him— and I think it’s pissing him off.
I really don’t know how to win with him. It’s like, he’s mad with me if I don’t do that mission that way he would, and angry if I do it without flaw. He’s truly an exhausting being, and I wish he wasn’t on this mission, but it is what it is. Kias chose him, and I just have to trust that. At least when I’m in charge, Kias by my side, we’ll make better decisions about who ranks up, and it won’t be assholes like Barrett (or his less-rude-but-still-bearable brother Blake).
I’m out of bed, feet to the cold floors, before I can think about how irritated I actually am. I stumble sleepily through the dark to grab a uniform from my closet and quickly change into it, throwing on a pair of boots and quietly making my way to the bathroom.
No one else has been in here yet, which means it’s not humid from their blazing showers. I make the most of this by pulling my hair back and braiding it all the way down. Just as I’ve finished tying it off, Igor, youngest of all the B team, stumbled into the room. His eyes are sleepy, and his face looks puffy like a little kid after nap time. For the first time since being a part of the Bratva, I think I feel… bad for him?
Hear me out; I’m not going soft… I’m just feeling rather confused as to why we train people from birth for this role to die. This little kid, his whole life ahead of him, is on a mission that could end it before it’s even begun. I feel for him, a deep, twisted pain that can only be felt when you know what this world does to kids like him. For some reason, he reminds me of my brother as he nods to me and steps up to the other mirror.
I realize I’m staring when he turns his head to me, confused.
“Can I help you?” He curtly asks, and I quickly shake my head.
“No, sorry.”
“That’s okay.” He turns back to the mirror. “Just don’t let it happen again.” He makes his voice sound like he’s forcing a tough guy out of his tiny body. I put my tongue to my cheek and hold back a laugh. In a simultaneous moment of perfection, we both giggle to one another as we brush our teeth. It’s the camaraderie of this life that’s a highlight. Family is never far, even if they aren’t your blood.
“What are you guys giggling like a bunch of school girls for? We have shit to do.” We both jump at Barrett, who’s red in the face and clapping. “Hurry up.” He flicks the lights on and off and leaves them off as he exits the room. I cross to them, flip them back on, and we finish brushing our teeth in silence.
Making it to this meeting on time is essential. We’re look-out. I’m surprised Barrett even agreed to let me go. Said just yesterday that my fighting skills aren’t needed for this mission, but I’d beg to differ. His fighting technique is mediocre at best.
The only way I can go today is if I wear a full-body suit. Which means the only way everyone will go is if we all wear full-body suits. The team wasn’t too thrilled about it, but at the end of the day, Kias trusts me to make the final decisions. I feel like I have to go. What with everyone on the team going rogue all the time.
“Last one in the car.” Barrett nods to me as he opens the door.
“Technically, you’re the last one in the car.” I close the door in his face, not even wanting the satisfaction that his reaction will bring. Once everyone is in their car, I confirm on our walkie to everyone that we should take separate paths to the meeting location of the San Giovannis and the Pirus Gang.
We take the highway, and I think the other two cars take the back roads.
It’s not a long drive, which is why I’m surprised by how nervous I am. I have never been like this before any of my missions. Never unsure of myself, but if I knew any better, I’d say this is some mixture of anxiety and… guilt.