“First world problems, rich boy,” Luke replied, rolling his eyes.
I left them like that, ribbing each other back and forth after we said our goodbyes. It made me feel good, knowing that my Upper fiancé and boyfriend were able to hang out with my Lower boyfriend. They all got along, and that was the most I could hope for.
“You’ve got quite the little stable of men there,” Harlow said as we made our way back to our side of the campus. “Have you thought about hooking them up to a carriage and getting them to pull you around like the queen you are?”
She snort laughed, and I joined in, giggling at the image.
Finally, we were on the women’s lawn. It was brighter there and smaller. I had a feeling they kept our side safer than the men’s, with lights and fewer places for anybody to hide. I wondered if there was any reason to worry on a campus like this, it was so safe and filled to the brim with private security. This could be part of the reason, though. As long as they were trying to take care of us, they could spy on us even more than on the boy’s side.
“Do you still want to come to my room?” I asked Harlow as we walked.
“If you’re okay with it. I don’t know what came over me earlier, but I’m not usually the kind of girl who kisses other girls,” she said darkly.
“I get it,” I said, and I did. But I also wondered what would happen if we did kiss again. It had felt so good.
We had no energy left by the time we made it up the elevator and into my room. We didn’t care when we stripped off our clothes in front of each other. All our inhibitions were gone by that point. We brushed our teeth next to each other in the bathroom, and it was nice having somebody there with me.
Afterward, we climbed into bed and curled up with each other. There was no kissing, but it felt so good having her in my arms. I could understand Alexander’s longing, the need to be with somebody and wake with them in your bed.
As I drifted off to sleep, the image of the fake Alexander floated through my mind, and I had the most unsettling feeling that it was somebody connected to me. To everything that I was going through.
A thought whispered to me in the darkness, but before I could catch hold of it, I fell deep into the inky black, and all was forgotten.
CHAPTER16
I didn’t knowhow to ask Victoria about the fake Alexander incident at first.
The morning after the party, I slept in, only waking to say goodbye to Harlow, who had some early morning ritual for the Lowers. I promptly snuggled under my covers and went back to sleep.
Later that day, when I finally poked my head out of my room, I saw Victoria in the hallway talking to one of the new students. I felt the urge to pin her against the wall and demand an explanation, but I was frightened of what it would reveal about me. I was terrified that it would break apart the fragile equilibrium that I’d managed to find at Crimson. I’d found a way to navigate the unsteady balance between the world I had in my memories and the world I walked every day.
There was a bridge between them now, and I had found comfort in it, not going back into the dark but still unable to fully embrace the strangeness of my reality.
“What are you looking at?” Victoria demanded, interrupting whatever tirade she’d been giving the younger girl. “Seriously, Willow, what the fuck is wrong with you now?”
She’d asked me that question a thousand times since the accident and waking up from the coma, and I had the same answer I’d given a thousand times.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied. I glared at her, keeping my eyes narrowed and focused on her as if I could see through her with x-ray eyes to find out what she’d been up to with fake Alexander. Instead, I just saw her glare back at me, so I slammed my door shut.
I finished getting ready, and by the time I was off for brunch in the dining hall, she was gone.
I avoided her for a few more days, but on Friday, we met for our mutual treatments, and I couldn’t hold it in.
We were sitting in the waiting room while Doctor Norris busied himself just long enough to remind us that we weren’t important. Nurse Flora had gone through the doors to prepare our rooms, and we were stuck in that circle of mindless small talk about our week.
“I don’t know why you still act like you’re too good for our classes,” Victoria complained. “It’s weird how you think you’re better than that. What else would you be taking? Business? Chemistry? Physics?”
She snorted like it was the most preposterous thing in the world, but in fact, Physics had been a deep interest of mine at one time, I was sure of it. At least I dreamed of it, in the world where Luke and I had an apartment and a cat, Rome was dead, and I’d never heard of Alexander Remington or Victoria Layton.
I sighed, bracing myself for the impact of her hissy fit.
But I was tired of being gentle with her, of being afraid that I’d say the wrong thing. There was a connection between Victoria and Alexander’s father, the elder Remington, and that had always made me nervous. He commanded the power to destroy my life. He could snap his fingers and send me back to the Pit, or he could call off the wedding to Alexander and ruin everything. He knew he controlled me on some level, and Victoria drew on that power just by being near him.
God, I hoped they weren’t fucking, or my next move was going to send shockwaves from here to the top of the Remington food chain.
“Had it ever occurred to you that I am too fucking good for those bullshit classes they force us to take?” I snapped. “I mean, come on. Even you must get tired of learning about how to put on a successful dinner party for your businessman husband. Or what was that, sword fighting? Why the fuck do they even bother with that when we’re never going to need it?”
“We might need it. That’s the point, genius!” she snarked right back at me. “You know what happened to that family? They were slaughtered because they were defenseless. We’ll never have to be defenseless.”