“The ones you need to focus and stay calm?” she asked and looked worried. “Are you sure about that?”
“I am,” I said. “They taste a little like cinnamon, and when I looked up what they were supposed to be, that’s not it. They weren’t feeding me mood enhancers or antidepressants like they claimed.”
“What was it, then?” she asked.
“I don’t know yet. But there was the cinnamon taste and they were small and blue and oval. There were no markings on them.”
“Do you think they were drugging you all the time?” she asked. Her voice was tight with fear, and her eyes were clouded with concern. She leaned close to me and whispered, “Do you think your Mom knew?”
“Now that, I don’t know,” I said and leaned back. I took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly, trying to open my throat so it didn’t choke up with emotion. If she did know about everything, I couldn’t imagine how she would keep letting it happen. It would be the worst kind of betrayal. “I hope she doesn’t, I can’t fathom her knowing about it and not telling me.”
“I know how that feels,” Penny said, throwing all the shade at me that I deserved.
I grimaced and said, “I’m so sorry about that. It felt right to me, like I was doing you a favor.”
“I’m just fucking with you,” she laughed and shook her head. “I mean, honestly? I don’t know how I would have reacted to it if it was you. What if I knew about Reg, let’s say. How could I have told you about it, you know?”
“So maybe if my Mom knows, go easy on her?” I asked. Penny always had the kindest heart and was the first one in line to forgive people for their screw ups.
“Oh hell, no!” she exclaimed and I was taken aback. But I giggled as she went on. “No, take her down with all of them. She’s the one person in the world who’s supposed to protect you. If she knew and she left you alone with him, she’s just as guilty.”
“I agree,” I said. “I think I’ve felt that way all along, but I didn’t know how to express it. I feel guilty even thinking bad things about her.”
Penny nodded and I asked her about her family life. She told me how strict her parents had been since they caught wind that she might have been at a party. Apparently the rumor mill was strong in her circles, so they’d tightened the reins on her freedom.
We were able to hang out for a couple hours and it was exactly what I needed, what both of us needed.
I walked away knowing that I was on the right track planning revenge against those who would control me. And if push came to shove, I had one very quick tempered, fiery girl at my side.
I just hoped it never got to that.